A few weeks back I had a quasi blind date. It was premature and silly because I don't want to date. Period. Most of the time I'm blissfully content with my chosen solitude.

But I nibbled at the temptation. This man... let's randomly call him Dick - he wanted to fly down from Nashville to take me to lunch. Call me a hayseed, but I thought the invitation was pretty gosh darn nifty. His invitation also included a flight over the Cumberland Plateau where I live. I warned him I get vertigo climbing steep staircases, but that I was game for the adventure.

As we chatted on the phone, he asked if it would be all right to hook up with some biker friends of his who were convening on the mountain for an event. I said, "Of course." After we hung up, I butted my head against a wall for several days - it still didn't knock any sense into my numskull brain - just gave me a headache.

The day Dick flew in was one of those postcard-perfect days. I drove to the Sewanee airport, cameras in hand to document our day. While waiting, a herd of bikers pulled up to the terminal building, which BTW is about as big as my living room. It has a soda pop machine, which my living room doesn't have. I logically thought (*oxymoron*) they were Dick's friends - that he had called them in advance. Once the confusion was untangled, we laughed ourselves silly. They weren't his friends. They'd simply stopped to use the restrooms. As Dick landed and taxied to the terminal we were all there to greet him - me and my new biker friends. I guess it was a "had to be there" moment, but it was hysterical.





Prior to climbing aboard Dick"s plane, there were lots of biker-hugs and more laughter. His plane is a L-19 Birddog - a splendid relic - a military scout plane last used during the Vietnam War. The wiring is frayed and there's lots of duct tape, which hasn't cured the loud rattling. As we took off, I spotted my biker friends waving goodbye - they quickly became specks.

We soared across and around the Plateau for over an hour. Dick had me use his new camera - easily worth many $1,000s. That's me in the title pic and below, hanging out the window, taking pics. I'm still in awe of my insane pluck.



Our plane - me in the back about to hang out the window and take photos - oye





















That's Our Plane!



While in the air, we hooked up with another plane and flew in formation for a while. I was not happy about this, but what could I do? Jump? At times, our Blue Angels maneuvers brought us so close, I could see the instrument panel of the other plane. Arghhh.







After we landed, Dick scurried into the terminal, bought several sodas, handed them to me and said, "Go out there as though you own the place and offer them a can." It was Dick's good fortune that I love this sort of nonsense. So I sashayed outdoors and announced, "Welcome to Sewanee Airport - can I offer you a beverage?" We all became fast friends.

Ended up the other pilot was a developer from Florida - building a residential skypark over in Altamont. Naturally, Dick and I jumped in their car and drove about 45 minutes to eyeball the project. Below is a pic of our plane flying over the unpaved runway. Our companion plane also had a photographer.




That's our plane!




On the way we stopped in Coalmont for lunch at Mary's Cafe. (That day I noticed a lot of towns on the Plateau have "mont" in their names: Monteagle, Altamont, Coalmont.) Our new companions couldn't believe Dick and I had just met - thought we were married - thought we were hysterical together. All in all, it was one of the best times I've ever ever had. Nothing went as planned - the day was packed with glorious spontaneity.

Then things unraveled quickly. I was silly enough to take Dick back to my home. We sat on the screened porch, sipped lemonade, and gobbled some devilled eggs I'd made. Suddenly, he became verbally aggressive about wanting to get into my knickers. I made it very clear I wasn't interested. This is a portion of our conversation:

Dick: "A woman your age should take advantage of every opportunity."

I nearly spewed lemonade across the table.

Reenie: "Ya know, you've been dating for 30 years. I've been dating for 5 hours. I imagine that during your 30 years of dating, you've met a lot of needy women, and guess what, I'm not one of them."

Now, don't you think most men would stop there?

Dick: "So what'll it take?"

Reenie: "A lobotomy."

Dick: (evil snickering) "I've never understood the difference between 30 minutes of courtship and rape."

Well, I didn't even understand what that stupid phrase meant, but I nearly excused myself to get my unloaded lady's pistol to point at him as I screeched that he walk his sorry ass back to the airport. But I knew things could get worse. I had been stupid enough to invite this slimy creature into my home.

Because this story is getting too long, suffice to say, I got Dick back to the airport and waved buh-bye.

That night Dick left a message on my cell phone and sent two emails. I didn't listen to the message and I didn't read the emails. I didn't give a whit about the nitwit. And I might add - who was the needy one here?

Despite the day's dismal ending, I've held onto the *fun* and *laughter*. Other than to write this post and regale a few friends, I've chosen to focus on the good, the positive. Humor has often served me well.

And I learned a big lesson: I'll never invite a new acquaintance to my home for lemonade & deviled eggs. :)