Wow, I suck at this. It has been 6 days since my last entry... the entry where I said I was going to be better about this...

Please be patient with me, I still learning the ropes...

Today I started out pretty nervous! As soon as I got up, I was panicked, "I am moving to Japan in three weeks!" But, I decided to use that nervous energy to work hard at my Slangman list, and had a relatively productive day...

Now it is 6:30 pm, the sun is setting brightly in the distance, the wind blows the tree in front of my window making the sun dance around the small room I am in. Jenn just got home about a half hour ago, and is practicing playing her guitar and singing. The day has been quiet, comfortable and productive. I am settling in to a feeling of euphoria, wondering why the world doesn't always seem so peaceful. Why do I cherrish these simple feels of home so much that I get misty eyed? Why do I feel so often like I am 82 years old, and seeing the sunset just one more time would make it all worth it? What do you do if you're 28 and you have the feeling that if you could just see the sunset one more time, it would all be worth it?

Is it possible to feel celestial? I just had to ask Jenn how to spell celestial, but I am sure she would have known a better word to explain my feelings... for now, celestial. That feeling of being connected to all living things... knowing that nature is happy to accept the crisp clean breeze, pure sunlight (as pure as it could be in Los Angeles anyway) and the recent rain.

Oddly, I have just remembered something I used to do as a child, which now seems to have some relevance... when travelling in the car on a long trip, I would stare out the window, constantly plotting my existence, and focus on a single leaf on a single tree along a highway encased by a forest. I made sure that I picked a leaf that was simple, not the biggest, not the highest, but tucked away under a branch where it would surely go un-noticed for its life of the season. None of the passengers in the millions of cars that had travelled this road, had ever identified so wholely with a single leaf... or so I had thought.

I just wanted to say hello... I did not feel sorry for the leaf knowing that no one else was aware of its existence. I knew it was extremely happy. It would live out its life with exceptional wealth, laughter, fear, etc. I only wanted to say hello...and say "I see you..."

The sun has set outside my window...