I find myself writing a lot more in this journal than I expected.

I think it's because as I feel the icy cold hands of death approaching (metaphorically), I feel like I should be working more of my life out faster. I think I'm finally understanding those people who feel like they've got to keep getting things done in their lives before it's too late.

Among my problems though, is that I don't know what those things I need to be getting done should be.

I'm no longer interested in material gains for myself. Maybe it's a product of being comfortable in life, but stuff for myself just doesn't appeal.

Family scares me, and I don't have the burning desire to live on through a descendant like a lot of people I know.

I want things for other people, but I also understand the bad, co-dependant side of that, and how little of life you truely can control, and how much you should actually be trying to.

So what is it that I want for me? And what are the steps I need to take to get there?