I sometimes wonder how she sees the relationship from her side.

How the events of us meeting, the first nervous steps of friendship; offers, acceptances and rejections, missteps and connections.

Did I sound as crazy as I thought I did? Or worse?

How many times I did something stupid that she let pass?

How many times she told me something that she thought I wanted to hear?

Every day still feels like a new one; territory uncharted with the unknown just as big as the beginning. Does it feel that way for her too?

And is that a good thing or not?

If she described me to someone, what would I come off like? Foolish? Earnest? Kind? Creepy?

What will she remember 10 years from now about me? Will remembering make her happy?

On second thought, maybe I don't want to know any of that.