THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON LOVE... *sizzle*
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Contemplative
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BITTERNESS:
I have been trying to figure out why most everyone in the whole world in the history of forever wants to be in love. Everyone at least knows someone who has been in love and has had their heart broken, if it hasn't happened to you. Which I have to relate to a broken arm. Everyone at least knows someone who has had a broken arm, if not themselves. But you never hear people say, "Hey, I wish I could have a broken arm!" And the quote "better loved and lost than never loved at all," is like saying "hey its better that you broke your arm instead of going your whole life with your bones in tact." DOES THIS MUSHY CRAP MAKE SENSE TO ANYONE ELSE? Oh sure, when you're in love and your brains all scrambled with pheramones it makes perfect sense then! This leads me to yet another comparison that I must make! Remember that "This is your brain." commerical with the egg in the frying pan? This is kinda like love, here is your brain. Perfectly healthy egg yolk and white slimey stuff. THEN... (sinister drum roll) you fall in love. BAM! The frying pan hits the stove top and SIZZLE! There goes your brain! Ladies and gentlemen, this is your brain on love. Turning brown and stiff. With little bubbles. GROSS. Let me just state that while I do not endorse the use of drugs (just in case I ever run for president) I definately think marajauna is safer than falling in love. Now some of you skeptics (those in relationships!) are probably arguing that I am a bitter woman who will end up a crazy cat lady someday. Well, you are soooo far off. I will not own cats.
Lets review the facts here shall we? Lets start with Adam and Eve. They were in love, for crying out loud they WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER! And Eve loved Adam and she wanted him to try this great new apple or pomagranat or date or whatever forbidden fruit you choose to believe. (For sake of confusion, I shall use apple in this example due to its popularity in this particular story.) THEN, Adam, who is so smitten in love with Eve doesn't even bother to think about what God Almighty, his creator said. He just chomped the apple down because his beloved said it was good. Therefore, we were all cast out of the Garden of Eden because two fruit cakes a gazzillion years ago were too twitterpatted to think about what they should and should not do.
NEXT, we move on to Romeo and Juliet. WOW. Their famlies are mortal enemies (and have been for centuries) and they think that their love will make their feuding fathers shake hands and share a beer? DOES ANYONE ELSE HEAR THE EGG SIZZLING TO A CRISP HERE? Anyone ever try to get your family to like a friend or signifigant other that the "just don't care for"? That in itself is damn near inmpossble! So once these two moronic love bunnies realize that they will not be having joyous family reunion and laughs about "old times" around the camp fire, they drink some poison and stab themselves in the heart and die. SEE? LOVE KILLS! JUST LIKE CRACK!
Does anyone remember the whole Helen of Troy story? Two countries went to war because of love. NOW THERE is an excellent example of love killing.
There's Sampson and Dellilah. Yeah, let's just ruin your boyfriends career cause you think he needs a make over.
Has anyone read Hamlet? Not only were these people in a twisted sick love triangle, they were all nuts! And you knnow what? They were all perfectly normal and sane BEFORE they fell in love! (Of course, the whole lead goblets didn't help, but that is besides the point.)
These are only a few amoungst the many that I could name but for sake of the crazy bitter cat lady comments I will leave the rest out. I have made my point. Once again, just like crack, LOVE KILLS. Or ruins all of life as it was once known. Either way it can really mess up your day.
The only happy couple that I know of is Barbie and Ken. THEY ARE MADE OF PLASTIC AND PAINT. Besides, the noise through the grapevine is that Barbie is planning a weekend trip with G.I. JOE.
YES I AM BITTER. I HAVE HAD MY ARM BROKE AND MY HEART. I DO NOT RECOMMEND EITHER. My arm still hurt when it rains (I broke it almost 14 years ago) and my heart still hurts when I hear a certain song or see other ridiculous things (like white rocks) that remind me of the pain that I have endured from having "loved and lost."
And for those of you who would argue with this, I am gonna take a wild crazy stab and say that you have your brain all muffled with the sounds of tweeting birds and fluffly clouds of love. I'm warning you! Your brain is in the frying pan! *SIZZLE!* Stop, and sniff. If you smell bacon, you are in waaaaaay too far and you have little hope left but to get eaten quickly.
"Puppy love should be left to the dogs."
-kln-
I have been trying to figure out why most everyone in the whole world in the history of forever wants to be in love. Everyone at least knows someone who has been in love and has had their heart broken, if it hasn't happened to you. Which I have to relate to a broken arm. Everyone at least knows someone who has had a broken arm, if not themselves. But you never hear people say, "Hey, I wish I could have a broken arm!" And the quote "better loved and lost than never loved at all," is like saying "hey its better that you broke your arm instead of going your whole life with your bones in tact." DOES THIS MUSHY CRAP MAKE SENSE TO ANYONE ELSE? Oh sure, when you're in love and your brains all scrambled with pheramones it makes perfect sense then! This leads me to yet another comparison that I must make! Remember that "This is your brain." commerical with the egg in the frying pan? This is kinda like love, here is your brain. Perfectly healthy egg yolk and white slimey stuff. THEN... (sinister drum roll) you fall in love. BAM! The frying pan hits the stove top and SIZZLE! There goes your brain! Ladies and gentlemen, this is your brain on love. Turning brown and stiff. With little bubbles. GROSS. Let me just state that while I do not endorse the use of drugs (just in case I ever run for president) I definately think marajauna is safer than falling in love. Now some of you skeptics (those in relationships!) are probably arguing that I am a bitter woman who will end up a crazy cat lady someday. Well, you are soooo far off. I will not own cats.
Lets review the facts here shall we? Lets start with Adam and Eve. They were in love, for crying out loud they WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER! And Eve loved Adam and she wanted him to try this great new apple or pomagranat or date or whatever forbidden fruit you choose to believe. (For sake of confusion, I shall use apple in this example due to its popularity in this particular story.) THEN, Adam, who is so smitten in love with Eve doesn't even bother to think about what God Almighty, his creator said. He just chomped the apple down because his beloved said it was good. Therefore, we were all cast out of the Garden of Eden because two fruit cakes a gazzillion years ago were too twitterpatted to think about what they should and should not do.
NEXT, we move on to Romeo and Juliet. WOW. Their famlies are mortal enemies (and have been for centuries) and they think that their love will make their feuding fathers shake hands and share a beer? DOES ANYONE ELSE HEAR THE EGG SIZZLING TO A CRISP HERE? Anyone ever try to get your family to like a friend or signifigant other that the "just don't care for"? That in itself is damn near inmpossble! So once these two moronic love bunnies realize that they will not be having joyous family reunion and laughs about "old times" around the camp fire, they drink some poison and stab themselves in the heart and die. SEE? LOVE KILLS! JUST LIKE CRACK!
Does anyone remember the whole Helen of Troy story? Two countries went to war because of love. NOW THERE is an excellent example of love killing.
There's Sampson and Dellilah. Yeah, let's just ruin your boyfriends career cause you think he needs a make over.
Has anyone read Hamlet? Not only were these people in a twisted sick love triangle, they were all nuts! And you knnow what? They were all perfectly normal and sane BEFORE they fell in love! (Of course, the whole lead goblets didn't help, but that is besides the point.)
These are only a few amoungst the many that I could name but for sake of the crazy bitter cat lady comments I will leave the rest out. I have made my point. Once again, just like crack, LOVE KILLS. Or ruins all of life as it was once known. Either way it can really mess up your day.
The only happy couple that I know of is Barbie and Ken. THEY ARE MADE OF PLASTIC AND PAINT. Besides, the noise through the grapevine is that Barbie is planning a weekend trip with G.I. JOE.
YES I AM BITTER. I HAVE HAD MY ARM BROKE AND MY HEART. I DO NOT RECOMMEND EITHER. My arm still hurt when it rains (I broke it almost 14 years ago) and my heart still hurts when I hear a certain song or see other ridiculous things (like white rocks) that remind me of the pain that I have endured from having "loved and lost."
And for those of you who would argue with this, I am gonna take a wild crazy stab and say that you have your brain all muffled with the sounds of tweeting birds and fluffly clouds of love. I'm warning you! Your brain is in the frying pan! *SIZZLE!* Stop, and sniff. If you smell bacon, you are in waaaaaay too far and you have little hope left but to get eaten quickly.
"Puppy love should be left to the dogs."
-kln-
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