So I am at dinner with three of my closest friends and IT comes. Uninvited, unwelcome, unexpected, but nevertheless, there. Like an intruder in your home, who snuck in the back window, silently slipped through the curtains and into your most private dwellings. IT sat, waiting, hiding in the shadows of my mind, waiting to jump out and hold the knife to my throat. And IT did. Sliced my viens and drained my life's energy and sucked me into a spinning vortex until I was so dizzy I couldn't see straight. IT's awful.

I wonder if IT and me feeling so sick for the last week and Justin are closely related. Well I guess that is a dumb thought. Its just that the last however many times that he's done this to me I am always physically sick for like two weeks afterwards. I hate it. I only wish I could hate him. Or at least forget. But part of me doesn't want to hate or forget. Part of me has already forgiven. SICK isn't it?