So I went to Cleveland with Greg this weekend. I really had a good time. We had dinner with his step dad and then we went out to his friends house last night. This morning I went to the grocery store with his mom and cooked breakfast with her. (UH OH look out, I'm being domestic!) Today we went to a "grape jamboree" or something with his brother, stepbrother, and parents. Its a fair festival and they stomp grapes. It was fun, it really was. We had dinner at a restaraunt by the Gevena Lake, it was really nice. Greg was great, he's a sweetheart and its impossible to not smile around him. His mom showed me her sewing machine stuff. She's so cute. I love his family, and his mom is great. His friends all crack me up. His friend Bob is hysterical. So what's the problem? Yeah, so what is the problem? So the problem is he's seeing other girls and dealing with stuff with his ex. Yeah I knew that before anything. I didn't want to be serious or have a boyfriend. So why am I tripping? Fuck if I know. I mean I knew I'd have to watch myself with him, cause I knew that I'd start liking him. God knows I can't ever actually like a guy. But I've seen him a lot. Like every day since we met, and I just spent the whole weekend with him. And now... (dramatic drum roll) I like him. I guess that's why I'm tripping. Cause now I can get hurt. And guess what? Thats what always happens. I just see it going really good or really bad. And I don't know what my problem is, its not like I wouldn't go out with someone else myself if the opportunity came up. I don't even know what to write. I like him, I don't want to like him, I think I want a relationship, I think I don't want one, I don't care what he does, I do care what he does. I wish I could make up my fucking mind. ANNOYED. And all this coming from the girl who says boys aren't important enough to bother liking or letting cause stress. I AM A HUGE FUCKING HIPOCRIT. I should go back to the old me, and fuck this switching it up and trying to lay back with just one dude. I should go back to dating 8 guys at once and not giving a fuck what one of them thought. And when I got bored with one, drop him, and add a new number. I have yet to meet a man that was worth the trouble that he caused me. But hey, I could be wrong, maybe he will be. But I'm thinking in order to protect myself I should go back to my old ways: "You're talking life, I'm more like what's up tonight. Even though you could fuck this pussy right, I ain't gonna jepordize my life." AND THAT IS HOW IT SHOULD BE DONE. But I already know that won't be how I act.

I really don't know why I am so bitchy right now. EVERYTHING IS PISSING ME OFF. I am just gonna do my homework and chill. It'll be good for me. I won't be so pissy and negative later. I know what I want I just don't know how to get there. I think thats my only real problem. I'll feel better in the morning light.

-kln-

"I want to be the girl he looks at and says to his friends, "That's her."