I've had constant mimgraines for all of Christmas vacation now. I swear normal people don't constantly feel like shit. And I believe that most people go through life not having their vison blurred and moving because of migraines. It's really gettin old. A few nights ago it was so bad I just sat up and cried. I NEVER cry so you know it had to be bad, and it had to be bad for me to admit it.

I was supposed to go with Justin to see his Grandparents the other night, but as usual he made up an excuse and it didn't happen. I wouldn't be so annoyed if going that night wasn't his idea and if he wasn't the one whining cause he doesn't see me. Lots of people don't see me and they get over it. I think he's mad cause I just don't care about his bullshit any more. I don't even pretend to be. I mean its sad, cause there was a lot there at one point and time. But then again, what was there has been burned to the ground and plowed under. Oh well, whatever.

I got the song quote out of my friend Nick's profile. While he has other uses, Nick is always good for three things: making fun of my shortness; sexually harassing; and quotes. :D It was kinda my mood that night.

Make my body motion, yeah the night is young
Open like the ocean, cold and numb
Dance until the sweat forms on your face
It won't take long to flush the poisons

I don't care where you come from
If it's awful there
All of us are alone
I forget where I come from
And I don't care

So what's wrong? I think too much
I don't want to fuck you, I don't want to touch
I just want to fill you with regret
I've said it all before, it's pointless

I am so tired of feeling the way that I have been. I am going to try to fix things this semester. I have less classes and I am going to try. I was looking through my scrapbook last night and I remembered how happy I used to be. I don't know where things went wrong. But I am gonna do everything I can think of to fix it.

I babysat for Kiera and Seth all day yesterday, last night and some of today so Mike and Rani could go on a night's get away. Those kids crack me up. I got hardly any sleep, I came home with UFO in my hair (unidentified food objects) and totally happy. There is nothing like kid hugs and sticky hands leading you all over the house in search of elephants. :D


-kln-

Now I'm happy it's a fact
Can't nothing hold me back
I've got this in the bag
There ain't no maybes
No question of me failing

You're mad, I thought you'd be happy I made it.