I ran into my friend Jason today who made me fell totally guilty about not running. Not that he said anything, but our freshman year we made a plan together to train all summer and join the cross country team in the fall. He did. I didn't. I am really proud of him, he is doing really good and he works really hard.

The point.

I went running at the rec and throughly enjoyed myself. It was a good soul cleansing that I needed. While I was running I was thinking about pushing myself and how I always demand more from myself. I wrote earlier this month that I didn't know if that was right. It has to be. I should never except less but my best. If I work my ass off and get a D in math, dammit I EARNED that D! But if I could have gotten an A and I got a B then I failed. My teacher may not know, my Dad my not know, but I know. And I need to start holding these restriction harder.

Also, I was thinking about being a leader. I go to all these conferences for leadership and try to do what I can. But I always feel like I am jst barely missing something. I have always used the quote that goes: The best leaders, when the work is done, the people say "We did it by ourselves!" That and: The best leaders don't make more followers, they help shape more leaders. That is what I want. I don't want to lead people. I want to help people lead themselves. I think that is what true leadership is about.

-kln-