As the rain clouds in the sky darken so the do the clouds in my heart. I can feel the thicken and accumulate, gaining power every second of every day. I am angry. But not at you. Not at her. Or him. Or them. I am never angry at anyone but myself. Angry at believing the lies. Angry at wanting to believing the lies. For not turning my back and walking away from it all. Angry for not being stronger when I needed to be. Angry for not being who I want to be, who I know I need to be. Angry for not understanding, for not helping, for yelling when I should have listened, for crying when I should have yelled, for lack of patience, for running out when I should have stayed, for staying when I should have left. Angry for never doing things right.

A sigh. A whisper. A hope in the night. A tear drifts down my cheeks and I wonder.

I hear the birds singing their cheerful songs, and the sun seems about to shine through... and at that moment more clouds roll in from above block the brilliant light from my view.

-kln-

Maybe I'll get it right, next time.