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Customer Service, Oh How I Hate Thee

I really don't understand it.

I didn't want to be an asshole when I woke up this morning, but these people are making me be an asshole.

My camera is sick and needs repairing. I call Nikon, they give me directions to the Nikon Repair Center and tell me that they'll be able to give me a diagnosis while I wait and an estimate so I can decide if I want to pay for the work.

I drive down to El Segundo and wait in line. The rep behind the counter tells me that they don't do diagnosis while I wait. I explain that I was told they do and she says that they don't have anyone on site who can do that kind of work. We'll call that Fuck Up #1.

I consider my options and decide to go ahead and leave the camera because even though it means I won't be able to do my photography homework, I'll start the repair timeline sooner. She has me fill out a service request form. I put my phone number down, but leave the email blank. I've given them a method of communication and I don't want to give them my email address because the fuckers are just going to sell it to spammers.

She asks if I want to fill in an email address and I say, "Naw, I put my phone number down. You can contact me with that." I ask, "Oh, what's a reasonable amount of time to expect before I get the estimate?"

She replies, "It's probably a day or two, but you'll need to call in and check periodically to find out when it's ready for approval."

I say, "Why can't you just contact me when it's ready so that I'm not having to constantly check?"

She says, "Normally we email you when the estimate is ready, but you didn't want to give an email address."

I say, "Ok, fine, I'll give you an email address."

She says, "It's too late, I've already created the service order in the computer without it."

I say, "You know, the information that I wouldn't be able to be notified without giving you an email address would have been useful to my about 30 seconds ago. Why didn't you tell me that it was needed?" Let's call this Fuck Up #2.

She says that I can check the status on their website using my service number. I finish the transaction and choose that I will pick up the camera instead of having it shipped to me because I want to get it back asap.

I drive home about 45 minutes in heavy traffic. I get home and look up the status of my service. I figure it won't have any information, but I want to try the service website so that I know where to check tomorrow. The site won't show me any info saying that either the Name or the Service number is wrong. I call the Service line again and wait on hold for 15 minutes. We determine that the moron above WROTE DOWN THE WRONG SERVICE NUMBER. We'll call this Fuck Up #3.

Armed with the CORRECT service number I login to the website. In the hour since I dropped it off it has been diagnosed and my estimate is waiting for me. So... the Service Location that "doesn't have anyone on-site who can diagnose" my camera.... did so and created the estimate before I was able to drive home. We'll call the lie from the Service Rep Fuck Up #4.

The battery compartment needs to be replaced and is $131 dollars. I enter my CC info and process the approval/transaction and the confirmation page says that I've been charged $143.50.... $131 + 12.50 for return shipping. Note, the $12.50 was NOT listed on the previous page AND I had requested that I would pick up the camera and my receipt that the moron filled out correctly shows Pick-Up checked and circled and Ship $12.50 is empty. We'll call this Fuck Up #5.

I called the Service line again and they say that the charge was only $131 despite it showing $143.50. I'm currently waiting for the charge to appear on my CC website so that I can ensure it was the lower amount.

Dude. I don't understand it. How do these people stay in business?

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