It's surprising how age creeps up on you. Or, rather, me. One day I'm a balding 150 pounder, dressing sassy and dancing and singing through life. This day, I'm a bald 200 pounder who just bought new work clothes at Syms, the only store I can shop in because they have a "Portly Short" section of suits and sport jackets. Portly Short. In a suit. It used to be Athletic Short. In a spandex unitard. (I know. I know.) Portly Short. And I wear suspenders so my inseam isn't around my knees.

Three or four discs in my neck are oozing stuff or about to. Yech. They say my vertebrae should be squeezing my nerves and I should be feeling either intense pain or numbness. I'm not. That's good. I think I may have figured out why I have collapsed discs. It came to me when I was carrying a box of books on my head. Hmmmm. You think?