As the calendar reaches April 20, I find myself thinking of only one thing: NBA playoffs. And what better event to mark the beginning of the playoffs than to dispense Lisa's NBA awards:

Defensive Player of the Year - Ben Wallace (Detroit Pistons) Any man who can out-rebound Tim Duncan is worthy of this award.

Offensive - Shaquille O'Neal (Los Angeles Lakers) Really, whom else can you vote for? Although he missed several games due to injury this year, nobody else dominates a game like Shaq.

6th man - Bobby Jackson (Sacramento Kings) They love this man in Sacramento, and he has certainly played a vital role through all the injuries to the Kings, especially early in the year.

Most improved - Doug Christie (Sacramento Kings) Have you seen the way he plays now? Always a good role player, now proving to be an indispensable player.

Rookie - Richard Jefferson (New Jersey Nets) I know that most people are leading towards Pau Gasol (Memphis Grizzlies), but I would like to reward a player who makes a meaningful contribution to a team that has accomplished a great deal this year.

Old Man - John Stockton (Utah Jazz) Everyone was focusing on Michael Jordan's age this year, but Stockton hardly seems to have lost a step at the age of 40.

Most Underrated - Rasheed Wallace (Portland Trailblazers) I know that he has a temper, but this man can play.

Coach Rick Carlisle (Detroit Pistons), Jerry Sloan (Utah Jazz) - Honorable mention Nobody expected Detroit to capture their division this year. However, I think that Jerry Sloan's ability to keep his team at their level of competence year-after-year goes underappreciated.

GM - Rod Thorn (New Jersey Nets), Geoff Petrie (Sacramento Kings) Thorn brought Jason Kidd to NJ - crucial. Petrie traded Jason Williams for Mike Bibby and retained Chris Webber. As someone who grew up in Sacramento, I bestow heartfelt thanks.

Owners - Joe and Gavin Maloof (Sacramento Kings) Not only have they created an atmosphere that players love to play in, but they opened their financial books to the media in Sacramento in a frank discussion of the money involved in the NBA.

Most improved team - New Jersey Nets Last year, their record was 26 wins, 56 losses, This year, 52 wins and 30 losses.

Favorite Team - Sacramento Kings You gotta love a team who loves each other so much.

Lame-ass Move - Phoenix Suns trade of Jason Kidd Hmmm...let's see. The Suns trade Kidd to the New Jersey Nets, who then capture the best record in the Eastern Conference. And as a result, the Suns do not make the playoffs for the first time in well over a decade.

GM who should be taken out and shot - Bryan Colangelo (Phoenix Suns) See "Lame-ass Move."

Pure Shooter - Peja Stojakovic (Sacramento Kings)

Best Smile - Chris Webber (Sacramento Kings)

Awesome play - Tracy McGrady (Orlando Magic) - NBA All-star Game Dunk From the backcourt, he threw the ball off of the backboard to himself and slammed it. So cool.

What the hell? - Milwaukee Bucks They lost by over 30 points in their last game of the season, which they had to win to make the playoffs. True definition of "Losers".

12th Man - Vince Carter (Toronto Raptors) Out of the playoff race with him, the team goes 12-2 to finish the season without Carter to make the 7th seed in the Eastern Conference. He doesn't make the playoff roster. His sponsors should stop running his commercials.

Offensive (as in "jerk") - Kobe Bryant (Los Angeles Lakers), Randy Moss (Minnesota Vikings) - runner up Kobe Bryant is an arrogant little boy who thinks that playing basketball somehow makes him a better person than the rest of us. I wish a career-ending injury to befall him. And I do realize that Randy Moss is a football player, but he deserves to be derided at every opportunity.

Overpaid crybaby - Penny Hardaway (Phoenix Suns) Go away, Penny, just go away.

MVP - tie - Jason Kidd (New Jersey Nets), Tracy McGrady (Orlando Magic) Both are indispensable to their teams. Both are amazing players. Both are so sexy. Oops, I meant talented, really. Yum.

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