There are days like the one I am having today when there is a certain weight of sadness on everything I do. My eyes don't want to stay open all the way. I have little energy, but don't feel tired. It's more like I am having an out of body experience, but am not really sure if I would want to return to my body.

This often happens after a long weekend of living in a dream land. It's been a long time since I have laughed as hard as I have this weekend. Surrounded by people I love, I feel safe. Working my body and mind so hard it becomes effortless. Finding creation every where I look. Turning nothing into something.

Back to reality. I call this the big come down.

I am old enough now to not let these moods overwhelm me for too long. I attempt to let them do what they need to do, and soon enough they will move on. I don't hold on to them, and I also don't push them away.

In some ways when I feel this sadness I feel very beautiful and human. Will I be happy tomorrow? Will I be satisfied with what I am creating? Will I be content with my life? Will I find love? Will it all work out the way I want it to or the way I feel it needs to or deserves to?

I don't know these answers. But neither does anyone else, so what does it matter?

All of this to say, life is not for better or for worse. It's both. Life is not good or bad. It's both.