I feel pretty good this morning. Some pain, some sadness, but the kids are happy and we've played and eaten, and now they're lost in their own world. Happily lost.

As a general rule, people have been so kind to me. I am amazed and touched at the thoughtfulness and generosity of those around me.

My SIL came up twice to help out with the kids, which was good -- she's a lot more fun than I am at this point. They need to have fun. She even offered to come later in the week, if necessary. And it's nice to have someone to chat with at times like this. I need time to be sad and process what has happened, and deal with it, but balance is good.

Both neighbors on either side have brought dinner for the past two nights -- things they knew my kids would love. Last night was Dominoes pepperoni pizzas. My kids were thrilled. And the neighbors brought enough food to last for several meals, because they are kind and thoughtful, and because (as one neighbor who has had a miscarriage put it) our family needs time to worry about and deal with other things than what to eat.

Rice's cousins family invited all of us, or just the kids, to a neighborhood bar-be-cue/fireworks show. I wasn't up for it, and Rice had to work, and LD is a handful and Rice's cousin's wife (who I'm sure I've spoken of recently) has had an awful cold, so we just sent Avadore. He had a wonderful time. He lost his wee little mind. He came home at 10:45 and couldn't stop talking for an hour. The cousin's wife also sent homemade chocolate chip cookies for me. They're perfect for eating with Vicodin. Last night some of the neighbors had Rice and Avadore over for more fireworks. (LD was in bed, I showered and rested.)

And pretty much everyone has been so kind and thoughtful. They tell me they're sorry, they ask what they can do to help. They offer to take the kids for a couple hours so I can rest. They tell me they know there is nothing they can do to make it better.

But this is the thing, and it applies to all of you, as well...

I'm still sad. I still have some pain (though it's getting better, thankfully). I still feel a bit crummy. But my heart feels better. Just knowing that people care, that people are kind and loving and generous makes me feel better.

One set of neighbors, the set who said we had better things to worry about, had also mentioned a couple of Sundays ago that they don't cook this time of year. They don't live upstairs where the kitchen is, they don't turn on their oven or stove. And they made a spaghetti casserole for me. A huge one. It could have fed the whole neighborhood. I suspect their stove was involved, and their oven definitely was. I was so touched by that. They put a whole meal together, and it was effort, certainly. And hot.

Just a simple, "I'm sorry," sincerely said helps. It really does. It doesn't when not horribly sincere and followed by, "Let me tell you ALL about my pregnancy right now for 1/2 an hour in the middle of the grocery store", which has happened with previous miscarriages, but just "I'm sorry," or "Can I do anything to help," or "I know it sucks."

And the kids really help.

The other night, while Avadore was with his cousins, I spent time with LD. Avadore is very empathic and snuggly and sensitive. He's always loved cuddling and singing songs and reading stories. LD does cuddle occasionally, but he's like a cat -- it's all on his terms :). But he felt like being cuddly that night, so we lay on my bed and sang songs, and played with his toes, and tickled, and giggled, and had a lovely time. The next morning, while Avadore was gone, he brought me some books, and we read things like Green Eggs and Ham. When Avadore was this age we could read and read and read, but LD needs to be active and can't always sit through a whole long book, but we read about Sam-I-Am and the eggs and the ham, and he lay through it, and cuddled.

The night before, after LD finally went to bed and Avadore returned from fireworks with his cousins, Avadore spent the next hour cuddling and telling me all about his evening. He couldn't stop and nattered on for an hour. And it was lovely. It really helped to spend time with my kids and love them and enjoy them.

It's friends and family (when restrained :)) that make these things better, that make them more tolerable. It doesn't fix it, it doesn't act like a magic cure so that everything is all better, but it does help one's heart fill.

So thank you guys, for everything. You have really helped make all of this easier and the process progress.