I have spent a most of my day working on research and contacts for the grant writing committee (known from now on as the GWC). I am absolutely fried. My brain is mush. I have written e-mails, responded to e-mails, made phone calls... I've eaten well, tried to take care of myself, and my brain is still completely dead, like it needs a nap. I guess this is my body saying to take a nap, eh?

And I will take a nap. I promise, body and brain. You will rest soon.

It's not only mentally exhausting, it's physically and emotionally exhausting. All three of these aspects of myself are completely interconnected.

There's the work aspect, and there's a lot to consider. But I'm also dealing with a bunch of people who all think they're in charge and they know what's going on. Now, to a certain extent it's true that I am new to this and I am clueless in terms of some information, but NO ONE IS PROVIDING ME THE INFORMATION I'M CLUELESS ON, like legal issues. Mostly they're providing opinions, like they're facts. Opinions are useful, and I do appreciate them, but often these are prefaced with something that effectively means, "You don't know/You've been misinformed/Look what stupid thing you have been doing for the past three years," even though my family only just showed up this August.

I also get the feeling that there are members of the school community who are not supportive of the field. I think some feel that its creation will threaten some of their projects.

And I'm an infp. Well, I mean, I'm more than that, but I most certainly am this (though with age and my education I have developed other characteristics that are not usually attributed to an infp sort -- like my appreciation for facts and logic in appropriate situations -- people are complex and certainly evolve) and it most certainly impacts these sorts of jobs. There's benefits to this, and drawbacks.

And one of the drawbacks is that this sort of thing is exhausting.

Next time I'll have to claim personality type as a defense against doing this sort of thing. If there was anyone else capable and willing.

This, of course, impacts the writing. Maybe my brain will function and I can write after my nap. Or maybe I can just get a short exercise in. At least then I've written.