i hate it, i hate it, i hate it. i knew junior year was going to be really hard because of all the testing and crap, but it's too hard, sorry. first period is pyschology, and that's ok, but next period is drama which i really love, and if it were up to me i would take drama all 9 periods, but i seriously can't memorize 90 pages by sunday. my brain...it can only hold so much. and i was looking at monologues today because we have to choose one, and all the ones for girls suck, they are so "girly" with some girl talking about some dream she had about the willows and whatnot, and all the ones for guys are about cool stuff like being dead and sex and cursing and stuff. i mean, the guy's stuff totally kicks the girl's stuff. and i'm not going to stand there and read some mushy crap, so i decided to read a guy monologue, even if i look like a lesbian, i don't care. anyways. then there is chemistry. I HATE CHEMISTRY I HATE IT I WANT IT TO BURN AND I HATE LAB BECAUSE I HAVE TO MISS DRAMA AND I NEVER UNDERSTAND ANYTHING AND I HATE DENSITY AND MATTER AND VOLUME AND I HATE ELEMENTS AND I HATE NOTES AND I HATE NUMBERS. woo. then there is gym, then lunch, then german. holy shit. i mean it. holy steaming shit. every time she teaches something new, you can count on me to not get it meanwhile everyone else does and we are doing exercises on the board and everyone is blurting out the answer and i am sitting there trying to figure out what the first word says. ugh. that class is the worst, all we do is take notes, have a test, take notes have a test, and the cycle drags on and on. good thing i sit by the window so i can dream of killing myself whenever i get really bored. then there is english. miss callender is crazy. she grades things on how well she likes you, no matter how smart you are. i don't know if she likes me or not. i better get a damn good grade on those journal entries, i spent like two hours on them. next is math, and i hate math, and i just want it to rot in hell, but at least miss mhyren is nice. but how the hell am i supposed to concentrate when jordan is cackling in the corner EVERY 12 SECONDS. she is always laughing about something and her laugh IS SO LOUD AND I JUST WANT TO SHOOT HER IN THE EYE. i don't even sit near her and i can hear it. oh god. and then there is history, with mr kenduck, who i think is on speed. you could come into his class and be like "fuck you" and he'd be like "hey miss pollak how's it going?" his hand movements! why? and why does he call us by our last names? i hate that. i hate that class. goal and do now. what the fuck. worksheet after repetetive worksheet, he's the type of guy who photocopies all the worksheets from the textbook and then just hands them out and thinks it's fun. i could just sit with the book at home and teach it to myself for all he's worth. i just can't memorize a play and a monologue and then do homework and still stay sane. plus i forgot my fucking chemistry book tonight, so i will be rushing to finish my homework tomorrow. ugh. i just want this hideous year to be over.