wow. tonight is saturday. i am really tired. it's kind of sad to think this was the last night of my first play. i am happy, and kind of sad, for reasons i cannot discuss here. (ahem)
next to me is a booklet of the place i am getting my acting lessons from. i am starting in a week or something. i just looked through this book. everyone in it is so perfect. and it has all this stuff about dancing. i don't dance. i'm not perfect. i hope it's not a bunch of prissy girls who want to be miss america or something.
i am actually kind of let down. doing this play was really fun. it was my first ever, and i got to know people that i would have never eveb talked to. i thought i would be really nervous and freeze up on stage and stand there. but i didn't, no i'm kind of happy. this was important to me because i had to prove to myself that i could actually do this. and you know what sucks? i really wanted to try out for the spring play this year, but there isn't going to be one, there is only going to be a musical. and i don't care what anyone says, i am not getting up in front of anyone and acting like i can sing. because i can't. and i'm happy that i am gonna do drama plays, but i wanted to be in the fall play but i didn't make it so i thought i could be in the spring play but there isn't one and i can't sing and what the hell, i mean i just had so much fun doing this, and i'm really sad it's over, because i hate coming home and sitting here. dammit! this is kind of a let down, like the day after christmas or something. it's just that...v-----! dammit! why!!! why am i such a retard? why can't i just stop it, and wait till i get out of high school, and why....dammit!