ok for once i am doing stuff without jordan always there. i realized i am capable of making conversation with people. i never thought i could overcome being shy. i thought i would just have no friends for the rest of my life, and maybe i still am shy, but at least...i dunno. i was so jealous of her, and her busy life, and how i would always call her and she would never be there. but now, i don't call her that much. and that makes me so happy. ah! i am just really happy. the last night of the play i took one of the programs home and put it on my windowsill. when i wake up in the morning i see it and think, i did that. sometimes people come up to me in the hall and say, "i saw you in the play." that makes me so happy. the fact that people actually know who i am. people do that to jordan all the time. she's used to it.