it's sunday. it's fucking boring here in ramsey. it's been raining for about a week straight, and all i do is sit here and count the days till i get my licence.

i don't know about everyone else in online-land, but recently a little store called build a bear is taking over my sister's bedroom. now, my sister, the young impressionable dumb shit that she is, has been vacuumed into this monstrous waste of time and money and apparently i am the only person on the face of the earth who can see it. build a bear is a store where you pick out what bear you want, stuff it, name it, pick clothes out for it, and practically give birth to it. and then you proceed to throw your money away by buying more clothes and accesories for it.

so one day i just so happen to walk into my sister's room, and i see a fucking inflatable couch for this bear, whose name is dusty or some stupid senitmental shit like that. what the fuck? I'D LIKE AN INFALATABLE COUCH, MOTHER. but no. the bear has to get it. the bear. we have to put the bear first, because he is part of the family now. every holiday, the bear gets new clothes. what did my sister get for christmas? a $10 for the bear. the bear got a purse and a backpack. and when the bear got lonely, my sister went out and bought a poodle for it. now the poodle has to have clothes. it probably had fucking health insurance by now, who knows! and then when i wanna take the car out, i'll probably have to wait for the bear to come home.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!! mothers, DO NOT let your children see, think, or read about these horrid little creatures! they are evil, i'm telling you. why in god's green hell are you spending money clothing a tick infested stuffed animal when you could be buying vitamins for your children, new shoes for the needy, or even more important, clothes for me? jesus mom, is that fucking bear sitting in the corner more important than ME? IS IT, MOTHER? i can just see it now. i walk into the kitchen. i tell my mother i need new clothes for school because all my other ones are tattered and worn and everyone is making fun of me because they can see my ass. she looks up from her paper, an intense look in her eye. a bird chirps in the background. she opens her mouth to speak. "we have to think of the bear, amanda. we have to put the bear first." and with those silencing words i make my way to my room where i play with my sticks in the corner.

jesus christ i am so bored.