I remember the first damp day of school and I hadn't seen anyone in months and it felt so good and now the winds chap my lips and I am struggling to maintain my shape as I aimlessy trudge along on the treadmill at the gym.

He says such beautiful things to me but I have learned to disregard them as only strings of soft words and not as the truth. Nowhere in this environment can the truth be found. It is only now that I wish I paid more attention freshman year when Ms. Ringle plodded along and gave us worksheets to do and I simply threw them in the bottom of my backpack only to find them several months later. Failing was an option for me and it was an option I alsmot knew too well. And now that I am competeting against hundreds and maybe even thousands of other nameless faces who are just SAT scores and GPAs I'm praying they'll look at my application with a merciful hand. Please let me into your college. I need to go somewhere.

I want to drive down a steep hill when it's really cold out with the windows down and a good song invading my ears feeling like I am infinite. Realizing that in due time the night will end and I will have to go home and take a shower the next morning and go on with my daily life but the night before I went on forever and when I looked up at the starts my eyes saw everything. I want this year to explode and then fade away into my memory. No longer does it matter who likes me and how popular I ever become. I just want to live before I die.