Guys are painted to be this slovenly, animalistic subhuman breed put on this earth to accomplish the only thing they know how to do--reproduce. Sure, there are enough men that validate this theory, but women have taken it upon themsevles to relentlessly criticize the males of this world just because guys don't like to sit around eating chocolates and painting nails. The guys I have met here have to be the funniest, most charming, and sensitive group of people I've ever known.

Girls often talk shit about guys because we don't understand them. To us, men represent this cold, emotionless void that we seek to morph into a tear shedding, chick flick loving softee who will tell all his friends about how great his girlfriend is and put us before all of his instinctive urges such as to watch as much football as possible and to burp in public. But yet, we cannot live without men. Men are the reason we wake up, the reason for putting on that extra nice skirt in the back of the closet. Poor guys. Always getting trashed by some feminist who just got dumped by her boyfriend. I, on the other hand, love them.

Take two weeks ago. I went to the football game with my friends of the male persuasion. I've never seen kids so completely enthralled by men in tights running around on grass throwing a ball around. They are completely consumed with this idea of making a great play which consequently leads to victory. So much so that they have dragged me into their pit of first downs, field goals, and hot dogs. I hated football until I got here. But seeing their undying enthusiasm for this sport made me want to learn all there is to know about it. So they taught me. And damn, football is hard! Yet these guys know all the players on every team, all their stats, can recite the scores of games from years ago, and can hold entire conversations based on the above. It's truly amazing. After the football game, we ordered 150 wings. Once they arrived, we placed them on the table, opened the containers of ranch dressing, and dug in. No one cared that I downed 20 wings or that there was sauce on my face. There was this absolute silence that remained until every wing had been ingested. This would not happen with girls. Girls would order sushi instead of meat, and talk between each bite, and leave half of what was on their plate to make themselves look sensible. I said something about being worried there was sauce on my face, to which my friend replied, "We don't give a shit."

Yesterday we made cookies. No, this is not a manly pasttime, but my friend Suzanne and I have this surprisingly strong hold on our guy friends, and we got them to make cookies with us. While we waited for them to come out of the oven, they started taking raw dough and chucking it at the ceiling, each time erupting with spurts of laughter that ensued. It was something a 5 year old might do, but to them it was so funny to see raw dough flung at a hard surface, that I just had to laugh. I love those guys.

Guys are simple but confusing in their own way. You always know where you stand with them. If they don't like you, they avoid you. But they never say how they feel about you, at least not to girls. Guys claim to picky, but they're really not. My friends would rather have a girl they can get along with than some really hot supermodel. I know that sounds far fetched, but I'd really like to believe it's true. While on the topic of girls, my one friend said, "Tits and a pulse just doesn't do it for me." Wow, really? That's so not what I thought.

As an intruder to their masculinity, I have learned not to interject what a girl would do in a certain situation, or to be overly feminine and complain about my period. I join them in their male activities, which I admit, is so much better than hanging around with girls. I fucking hate girls. They're so damn bitchy. Guys are so carefree and funny. I don't wish I was a guy. I like being a girl cuz we got it made. Doors opened for us, dinners paid, everything. We should stop complaining about how guys are immature and insensitive. All the guys I'm friends with are just as self conscious and sensitive on the inside as girls are. When they get rejected, it hurts them. When they hear me or Suzanne ogling over some guy, they get jealous. They want to be the center of attention, just like girls want to be noticed. But the one thing I hate is that I can't talk to guys about things the way I can with a girl. They just don't get it sometimes.

All in all, I'm sick of girls bashing guys and acting like they're so much better. Having guy friends has shown me that they're not all obnoxious perverts determined to sleep with as many girls as possible. Guys are fucking amazing.