We were to assemble in front of Russell House at around 9 to head over to the stadium where we would officially be introduced to the university. Everything was new to me--college, football, people, dorms. There were so many kids, talking, laughing, blending into one another. I was looking for Suzanne, the only soul I knew in this ocean of life. I wasn't surprised when I couldn't find her, and I boarded one of the yellow schoolbuses hoping I would stumble across a friendship.

I did not. I sat hunched against the window by myself, waiting for an attractive boy to sit next to me and introduce himself, just like it always happened in the movies. I was beginning to realize that things never happened like they did in the movies. The bus was incredibly hot. My curly hair, which I had fussed over for hours, was beginning to grow by the minute. I was scared, sweaty, and to the point of tears. How could I feel so alone amongst so many people? As I stared out the window and listened to the roar of the other freshmen on the bus I decided I had made my mind up about college. I hated it and wanted to go home. I would never make any friends. I would sit in my room and bore myself with my computer while everyone else went out, partied, and had a good time. I just wasn't cut out for this, I thought. There was no way.

The bus finally started to move and we were on our way to the stadium, which wasn't far at all, but since I had no idea where we were going it seemed to take a lifetime. I was in the South now and I could tell. Unfamilar restaurants and the ocassional Confederate flag gave me plenty to ponder about until we reached the stadium. We got off and walked single file into the looming cement structure. The only other stadium I had ever been in was the Giants stadium when I was in eighth grade and went to see Nsync. The band was playing 2001: A Space Odyssey, and cheerleaders were thrusting pom poms into the air with smiles plastered onto their faces as we walked by. We found seats in the bleachers and it was almost too much for me to handle. This whole socialization thing was so foreign to me. Never had I been surrounded by so many people whom I did not know. As I nervously took a seat and looked at the kids still filing in, I wondered what I was getting myself into. Then lightning like I had never seen before threw itself across the sky. We all looked at it in awe. Again and again, with less time in between, the lightning flashed before us. Thunder followed, and then, within a few minutes, it began to downpour.

Rain was my archenemy. Curly hair and rain do not mix well, and there could not have been a worse time to look like a sopping wet wreck than on my first night of college when I was trying so hard to look cute and make a good impression. We all started heading towards the top of the stadium where it was covered, but many of us could not find the stairs and were forced to climb over the railing, which was fine except for the fact that I had a skirt on, and me mounting this railing would have meant a peep show for Carolina. As I got to the railing I was internally planning how I would go about it when a boy on the other side stretched his arms out. I looked up. His face said, "Come on," but I didn't move. "Are you sure?" I said. He nodded. I let him pick me up and place me on the other side. We went our separate ways, but I was in shock. I had always heard of Southern hospitality and now I had seen it.

We all made our way to the bottom of the stadium where the buses were waiting to take us back from our rained-out welcome. Boxes of pizza mysteriously appeared and rowdy boys grabbed them and began shoving slices in their mouths. A black fraternity started chanting and shouting in deep, thundering voices. Fraternities. I was scared of them. They were everything I had feared in high school: loud, drunken, animalistic members of the opposite sex who used to love to make fun of me. I thought I had gotten away from them but they were swarming everywhere. Yet this time none of them knew who I was. They didn't know who I had been in high school; that I had once been the laughing stock of the school, that no one wanted to dance with me at school dances, that I'd never had a serious relationship. Not only did they not know me, but they didn't care, and that feeling of transparence gave me a sliver of hope. This wasn't going to be high school, where we had grown up with the same people since kindergarten. It was all new.

We got back to the dorm and my roommate invited me upstairs to drink in someone's room. Drinking was another thing I had not done much of back in high school. During the summer I told myself that I wasn't going to drink. I didn't want to risk getting caught and losing my scholarship and I especially did not want to gain those dreaded fifteen pounds. The room belonged to two boys, but there were other people in there as well and I tried my best to be carefree and easygoing. I tried hard, but I was so nervous and everyone must have known it. I didn't touch any of the alcohol and I got to wondering that if we were caught, would I get in trouble too even though I hadn't been drinking. I started talking to one girl who was sitting next to me and also not drinking, and shook hands with a cute Southern boy. So people shook hands here, I thought. I'd have to get used to that.

I don't remember much else of that night except for the fact that I couldn't sleep. I was in one of those moods where I couldn't actually believe where I was--was I really in college? Was I really 800 miles away from home? Was I really not going to see my family and friends for another four months? Since I hated bare walls I had gotten around to tacking all the photos I had brought from home above my bed, which gave me some solace. My roommate and I talked about our respective homes. She was from Ohio. She was outgoing. I envied her. This would be like nothing for her. She seemed like the type of person who could walk into a room and walk out with twenty friends. I, on the other hand, was quite the opposite. It would take me a long time before I could trust someone enough to call them my friend. To make matters worse, I still hadn't found Suzanne, and I felt more alone than ever. I thought my insides would cave in, but I finally fell asleep that night, and the night after that, and much to my surprise I got used to college. I look back on that day and often marvel at how much I have changed since then.