This summer I kept a secret from those who knew me. Out of desperation I contacted a national guard recruiter and inquired about joining the army. Yes, me. Yes, the army. Personally, I couldn't care less about Iraq but if signing over a few years of my life would guarantee money for college, job experience and health insurance I was ready and willing to do it. My inquisition was such a drastic move that I did not dare tell my family or friends. They'd only give blank stares and words of skepticism. So I drove to a recruiter to learn more. I would have signed the contract that day had it not been for the fact that I was on prescription medication and could not be taken off of it for the duration of basic training. I was so ready to change my life at that point, so tired of working at the grocery store and being so easily replaceable. I wanted respect, I wanted prestige, and I wanted money. When the recruiter asked why I was interested, I told him I wanted to make a difference. Bullshit. I wanted something new.

Obviously, I did not sign on the dotted line. I was not willing to forfeit my health because I was a disgruntled employee looking for a change. I quietly dismissed the notion of becoming a Private, returned to school, and got over it. Once back here I was no longer bored, but I never stopped thinking about how my life would have changed had I joined. The army was something so out of character for me which made me want to do it all the more--so I could prove everyone wrong. I guess there are many ways to prove yourself rather than joining the army.

In a few years, if I am ever off this prescription medicine (which probably won't happen) I might give the armed services a whirl again. I suspect I won't ever feel the need too since I quit the grocery store for good. That's another story altogether. The day I left, many people asked if I would be back during Christmas and summer break. "No," I told them, "I'm leaving permanently." Their response? "That's what everyone says. You'll be back!" God, I hate that place. That store is full of people who failed at life. I'm sorry, but I won't make the same mistakes they did. And if it came between joining the army and scanning groceries, I'd pick up the damn gun.