Last week I watched the season premiere of The Hills because many young adults such as myself find stark parallels between our lives and the lives of the wholesome women portrayed on reality television. Watching a herd of privileged white kids cruise around the streets of California in a luxury sedan is almost congruent to my life in every way.

Anywho, I hate that bitch Lauren Conrad. She's a snobby pig-nosed little vag who got lucky when MTV decided to plant a camera up her ass and now it's gone to her head that she's a big time celebrity. I can't understand how anyone with a partial amount of sanity could stomach this show. It's half an hour of staring. All anyone ever does is stare. One blonde converses with another. The camera shows a close up of her staring at her conversation partner. Cut to a scene in a trendy restaurant when one of those broads is engaging in a date with some overly tattooed typically cute hunk, and the two just stare at one other. Who wants to see half an hour of staring? And what is with Audrina's eyes? Can she ever look directly in front of her, or must she always be looking upwards? Get that shit fixed!

All summer I spent my breaks at work reading tabloids and these mongrels always found their way in my precious sleaze, and for what reason I cannot imagine. I love my tabloids because they are colorful, meaningless and shiny, and I don't want any of these reality TV skanklettes dirtying them up. I'm so sick of reality TV. Is this influx of crap reality TV due to the writers' strike, or are networks just too lazy to birth an original and interesting show?