Dear Government,
Hi, I'm 21 and about to graduate college. I don't have much money to my name besides the cash I saved while working at a Dairy Queen and grocery store during my teenage years. I'm a bit worried about the economy; you see, I'm getting ready to enter the workforce and I just don't know if I'll get hired immediately, if at all. This would have a negative effect on not only myself but on the country as well. If I don't have a job I can't afford a membership to the gym, nor can I indulge in some new clothes. I also can't buy the camera and laptop I've been eying. My lack of consumer spending will hurt the businesses I am planning to purchase goods from and will send the economy into an even further tailspin.

I would like to request a loan of one million dollars. This might come across as bold but being that you have helped Wall Street and are considering assisting automakers and American Express, I feel it's only fair to provide aid for those about to enter the workforce. I was under the false impression that when someone makes a bad investment or loses a large sum of money it was their responsibility to cope with their circumstances, but this great country has shown me that no matter how risky I am or how much money I lose, there will always be money to replace what I have lost. I would like to end this letter by reminding you that according to the founding fathers of this country, all men are created equal. Therefore, what you do for one you must do for another. I will happily accept your loan in the form of check, money order or as a direct deposit into my bank account. Thank you.