I hate when I log onto Facebook and my news feed is cluttered with vapid statuses from soft, fruity people who spew out things like "I'm so lucky to have wonderful people in my life, thank you baby Jesus for the sun, I AM SO BLESSED!" Stop spreading your cheer and goodwill. You're just as miserable and lame as everyone else. Makes me wanna quit Facebook. I'm gonna quit Facebook.

No I'm not.