A little over a year ago, my current boyfriend and I were sitting on my bed, sorting through the beginnings of our relationship. I was fiddling with the drawstrings on my sweats as he asked me just where we were headed. I thought carefully for a moment, then replied that I liked the way things were going and didn't want to put a label on anything. It was a complete lie. I wanted to be his girlfriend. I wanted to be the only one. I was fully prepared to strangle any other girl who competed for his affection.

But I held my tongue. This time, I'd be that "cool" girl I'd seen in movies and read about in magazines. I'd be mysterious, low-key and laid back, even though none of those adjectives particularly applied to me. I'd fight the urge to confess that I was in love with him already and that I was in too deep for my own good. Yep, we'd just see how things went.

This proved to be difficult. Without a label, I wasn't sure just how to act. He wasn't my boyfriend, so I couldn't rightfully expect him to call me. And I had to open up my mind to the possibility that he could be seeing someone else and that I'd have to pretend to be okay with it. It was hard to know exactly where to put him in my life. Soon after we had that discussion, we became exclusive. I was relieved. I remember how it came to be. He asked if I would be upset if I learned he was seeing someone else. I said yes, then asked the same question. He also said yes, and so there it was: we were official.

I think we both knew during our undefined period that we'd end up in a relationship. While I'm a little glad I didn't immediately rush to call him my boyfriend, I learned something about myself: I need labels. I'm kind of an intense person, and I don't see a middle ground when it comes to relationships. I either want to be someone's girlfriend or I don't want to be anything at all; it's probably because of my propensity to be jealous, emotional and possessive, but also my capacity to be kind, loving and loyal. I just don't do well when things aren't clear.

I've tried to be that easygoing girl who shrugs her shoulders at relationships, but the truth is that I like relationships. I thrive there. I need my labels and I'm finally okay with that.