Okay, so, it's hit 70 degrees two days running. This means I'm supposed to be able to go swimming outdoors. I called MSU, but unhappily, their outdoor pool won't open for a while. So I think this means I have to find a lake. Preferably one without ice on it.

In other news, I just received this living will form from My Brother the Lawyer, who received it from someone else. In the spirit of charity and good will I offer it to you, too:

Many of my clients have been asking for a living will, in response to the Schiavo case. I have drafted the one below which I ask that you read carefully. If you feel it meets your needs, you should sign it and place it with your other important documents. There is no charge for this valuable legal service.

I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind and body, DO NOT wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a scotch/beer/glass of wine (circle one), it should be presumed that I won't do so ever again. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these assholes mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education and future of the millions of Americans who AREN'T in a permanent coma and who nonetheless may be in need of nourishment.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge for their run for the presidency in 2008, it is my wish that they play politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace.

I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and/or crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own damn business, too. If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell.

And that about sums it up, I'd say . . .