Islam is a really great religion in many respects. It instils a lot of fear. It can be a positive experience to be afraid.

The only things about Islam that give me slight pause are some of the tenets of homicidal homophobia and misogyny, the tendency of the religion towards fanaticism, the religious intrusion into the minutiae of every aspect of every believer's daily life, the fact that stone-hurling pilgrimages have the atmosphere of Nuremburg rallies, the fact that gay people are sentenced to death in virtually all Islamic countries, the fact that unmarried women are subjected to random virginity tests in Iran, the fact that adulterous women are stoned to death in many Islamic countries (even if they've been raped), the fact that the global "brotherhood" of Islam will not rest until their religion dominates every society on earth... and especially the fact that the cartoon Winnie the Pooh was recently banned in Turkey due to one of the characters being Piglet...



I'm not making the thing up about Piglet, by the way. Apparently, the censors in Turkey tried to edit out the "disgustingly offensive" character, but Piglet played too large a role - so they banned the entire cartoon.

This factual trivia is only noteworthy because Turkey is considered a "moderate" Muslim country (whatever that can mean) and may soon enter into the EU.

If anyone is considering a sudden conversion to Islam, please note that you will be required to check in your sense of humour and your humanity at the door. Cute piglets are not considered big or clever in Islam. They are Satanic, utterly evil, irredeemably filthy, and a threat to your very soul.

On the whole, then, I'd describe Islam as quite a positive religion with just one or two niggles that might concern some over-sensitive and uptight people. Ignore those nasty niggles, though, and concentrate on the positive effect that Islam could have on your life. You could get a really cool beard out of it, for one thing. Facial hair is big in Islam. And, if you get all scared by the mystery and the immensity of the universe, if thinking rationally and questioning things hurts your head, some ex-converts have told me that it's better than a lobotomy.

No, you'll never have to question your belief-system again! Ever! You'll always be right, no matter what, and if anyone challenges your Islamic beliefs or asks you to question them, THAT PERSON IS A DISGUSTING INFIDEL DOG WHO SHOULD BE TORN LIMB FROM LIMB, BY THE GRACE OF ALLAH!!!! O ALLAH, BURN THOSE WHO REFUSE TO BELIEVE IN YOU - INCINERATE THEM IN EVERLASTING AVERLANCHES OF SEARING FIRE AND MOLTEN PLASTIC, O ALLAH! ALLAHU AKBAR!!!! ALLAHU AKBAR!!!! AL-

Oh.

Ahem. Sorry about that. Since my recent conversion to the cause, outbursts like the above sometimes bubble up out of nowhere. I reassure you that Islam is mostly a force for positive change in the world. Apart from the implacable and absolute intolerance and loathing for anyone who has the gall to disbelieve or doubt, Islam is brilliant and so tolerant. It is a bright path towards calm peacefulness, soothing tranquillity, and the acidic murderous loathing of any filthy woman who shows too much leg or cleavage. Islam will teach you that "loose" women who bare too much flesh are WHORES who MUST BE DESTROYED!

Sorry. Sorry again. I got a little bit heated again. Islam can do that to you, it can make you want to blow up the Ministry of Sound nightclub to wipe out all the evil "slags", it can make you act like an exploding Peter Sutcliff on a mission from The Lord Almighty, but I assure you that the overriding message of Islam is a message of peace. The peaceful and radiant light of Islam burns brighter than a thousand passenger jets packed full of TNT crashing into a thousand buildings full of non-believers, the burning fuselage cascading to earth like the blood of vile infidels and homosexuals sentenced to death under Islamic Law.




-------------------------------------------------------




Let me be absolutely serious for a moment. I'm pretty Left-wing and liberal in most of my views on politics and life in general. An ideal world for me would be a world where everyone said "live and let live", where everyone can live and love as they see fit.

What perplexes me, though, is that many on the Left have decided to flirt with Islam, to actively defend Islam from all criticism, even though the overall philosophy of Islam is as Liberal as Mussolini goose-stepping on a podium.



I'm sure that if somebody managed to re-classify German National Socialism as a religion (with Hitler as its chief deity) there would be a lot of Left-wing politicians and pundits telling us we must be more tolerant of it. Somebody would probably coin the term Naziophobia, and then use this term to beat down anyone who mocked the Almighty Hitler or the Nazi faith. The government would allow parents to freely indoctrinate their kids into this new religion. Tony Blair would allow Nazi faith schools to spring up across the land, so that kids born to Nazi parents had less chance of escaping total indoctrination. In the name of tolerance and freedom of religion, the government would forbid the mocking of Nazi beliefs. Making cartoons of the deity Adolph Hitler would soon become illegal under new blasphemy laws, designed to protect the faithful from ever being offended.

I've been a critic of the Abrahamic religions for quite a few years now. All three religions continue to have a negative impact on our culture, and all promote fundamental intolerance of one sort or another. The obvious suffering caused by these religions stretches from the time of the Inquisition and the Crusades to modern day Israel-Palestine. More insidious effects include spreading hatred towards gay people and other social groups.

Even so, Islam is quite obviously the worst of a very bad bunch. It is significantly more fascistic and violent in its outlook than either of the other two.

Unlike Christianity, Islam has never had a Reformation. The only thing close to a schism in Islam is the divide between Sunni and Shiite - however, the differences between the two are quite minor, and both are equally hard-line and literal in their interpretation of the Koran. Even the slight difference between Shiite Islam and Sunni Islam is enough to have both groups killing each other like Protestants and Catholics, but both groups hold an equal loathing for societies and social practices they consider decedent and sinful. In Islam, this sinful decadence even includes Piglet from the Pooh cartoons.

It astonishes me to see some on the Left in politics cosy up to this far-Right philosophy, simply because it's a religion other than Christianity (or simply because it's a religion), apparently oblivious to what they're doing in practise. When Muslim protesters wave placards that read "MASSACRE THOSE WHO INSULT ISLAM!" these kind of people turn a blind eye or tell us that it's a fringe view within Islam. But anyone who reads the Koran will quickly discover that the Prophet advises his followers to massacre anyone who even resists Islam.

I am tired of the fact that criticism of Islam has become almost illegal in Britain. Muslims are always on the news, giving themselves a bad name, but I don't think I've ever seen a negative critique of Islam by a non-believer on British TV. The only people who are permitted to criticize Islam on TV are Muslims themselves. One Muslim documentary-maker dared to suggest that Islam needs a Reformation, for instance - a view that was met with almost-universal outrage by his peers. But the whole unwritten taboo about non-believers criticizing Islam is ridiculous. If you want a critique of a dangerous cult, you don't ask one of the active members.

Much of this collective tongue-biting comes down to simple cowardice and defeatism. People are terrified of upsetting the religious sensibilities of Muslims simply because they are known to kick up a fuss and issue a fatwa or two.

This cowardly tip-toeing only seems to apply to Islam. If somebody drew an unflattering cartoon of the Buddha or Jesus, nobody would bat an eye-lid. But when those Danish newspapers depicted the Prophet Mohammed a while ago, our slug of a Foreign Secretary quickly slithered out of his hole to condemn the cartoons, cowering in fear of Islam's bullying fanaticism. I don't remember him ever condemning Jerry Springer, the Opera, when Christian groups complained that it was blasphemous.

This whole subject makes my blood boil, and I could rant on for another few pages about it. For the sake of cutting this here, I'll just say that cowardice and defeatism allow bullying to thrive. When Piglet gets banned from screens in Britain, for fear of outraging Muslims... that's when the bullies will have won.