It sounds like a Nancy Drew mystery, doesn't it?

I have a pair of outdoor shoes I keep on the porch. I love them. They're ratty but comfortable, easy to slip on if I have to run down to the mailbox (well, I don't RUN, understand) and I keep them just outside my door.

Yesterday I started to retrieve my mail, and my shoes were gone. Whaaa? The must have fallen off the porch or something. Maybe the wind blew them off, or I inadvertently kicked them off. So, I looked. And looked and looked. No shoes.

Who would steal my shoes? Are you kidding me?

Hmmm.

Then, I started thinking about it, and at first I was creeped out that someone would come right up to my doorstep and steal my shoes. It occurred to me that little as I have right now, I do have my life and a decent TV, so why would someone come so close to my house and only steal a pair of worthless, tattered, dirty old shoes?

Of course, I had to take it one step further. If someone was so desperate to steal MY shoes, they must have needed them pretty bad. I started to feel sad about that, 'cause, you know, that would be a person in much worse dire straits than I am, and ... uh, well, that would be muy mal.

Well, I shrugged, best wishes to them, even though I really liked those shoes. *sigh*

Anyway, I slipped on my sneakers and traipsed across the yard for my mail, and lo and behold! A familiar shoe, trapped in a pile of leaves! Looking around, I spotted the other one hiding under a bush. That's odd, I thought. How did they get out in the yard? Were they blown there by some high wind during the dark of the night? Was the shoe thief startled, and dropped them in their getaway? The mystery deepens...

I snagged my mail (and there was something So Wonderful in it this time! No bills but Something Fabulous awaited me...JOY OF JOYS!!) and then rescued the shoes from the bush and the pile of leaves.

Upon further inspection, the shoes bore mysterious markings that resembled those of...teeth? Could those be teeth marks? And parts of the shoes were ripped away, as if tugged by little needle teeth. Hmmm. A mutant squirrel, perhaps? I knew those buggers had fangs.

My answer peered from around the corner of the house. Several sets of eyes peeking at me, watching carefully as I slowly walked toward my door. Furry bodies wriggled as they watched their prize being borne away, and finally, a sharp yip was sounded as if to say, "Hey! I had that! It's mine!"

The black lab puppies next door had escaped their kennel. From the condition of the shoes, they had a blast with them. Heh.

I placed the shoes back where they belonged, and this morning they once again disappeared. That's okay, I have other shoes.

Puppies - 1. Netta - 0.