today is my beautiful katherine's 12th birthday.

i had a son 8.5 years prior to her arrival, yet i had no idea how my life would change. again.

once my son entered his preteen years, i felt a certain disconnect with him. it hasn't diminished my love for him, we just don't connect on a lot of levels that we used to. i haven't seen that happen with my daughter, yet anyway. i suppose it will happen at some point to some degree. i think it's only normal and natural that it happen in some ways. it's part of her growing up and becoming independent, so i'll be worried if it doesn't happen. a little. i think the fact that we're both female we may always be a little closer than the son and i, but i'm not complaining. he still hugs and kisses his mommy no matter who is around and always has. the kid has a huge sweet heart. i know it, and he knows it, and he's not afraid to show it. and that's all i need to know.

katherine is the child i always wanted to be. she is beautiful, smart, sweet, loving, tenderhearted, outgoing, funny - the whole package if you will. i was not outgoing, not particularly smart or remarkable in any way as she is. she is the child everyone wants to be friends with, all the teachers love her, and she loves everyone.

i delight in the children i have. that's an understatment. there are no words to convey the love and joy i feel when i look at them, hug them, talk to them. even when times are hard, especially when times are hard and frustrations are running high, my love and appreciation for them is intensified.

i wish i'd had at least 5 kids, but alas, life happens differently than what we have planned. i guess these are the kids i was really supposed to have, and no more. i can't imagine life now without them, or with any additions to them.

so happy birthday my lovely. i only pray that i'm worthy of the love and joy you've given me these last 12 years.