i've read so many comments from so many lovely people, i wish i had time to respond to each and every one of them. not just your comments to me, but the loving words you all share for each other. i am touched to tears by all of you. i have never felt more sincerity and genuine affection from a group of people, especially people who've never met face to face.

it's so weird, i used to be part of a christian women's email group, and i met most of those women at a retreat last fall. after being part of the group for well over a year, i've stopped chatting with them. for people who claim to be christians, i've seen a lot of infighting and backbiting and just plain meanness and i've grown very weary of it.

i've always heard it said that christians are the biggest stumbling block to people becoming christians. i had hoped it wasn't true in this case. there are some wonderful people in the group, but it's just so disappointing to want love and acceptance and find discouragement and tearing down instead of building up.

i think this is one of the reasons i have become very discouraged with the christian community in general. i think they're probably great IF you conform to their ideals and beliefs. however, their intolerance of many lifestyles and cultures is intolerable to me, as far as joining their ranks and hanging out with them on a daily basis. i know, that seems to be intolerant of me!!!

as a community, you all do a fabulous job of loving and accepting and building up and encouraging. and i thank you from the bottom of my heart. there have been days all i wanted or needed was a kind word, a little encouragement, or a little community brother bashing!!! and you have been there for me, no matter how i go on at times, no matter that it's my own fault for having faults in the first place.

i love each of you dearly, and know that whatever situation, good or bad, you find yourself in, i rejoice and mourn with you.

****

so today is saturday, and i still have a couple of moochers in my house. hubby and i had a talk this morning. then he had a talk with the bro, since it seems he isn't taking me seriously. he says he needs a few more days. i say he's got to go by tomorrow, but i don't know yet what my husband has decided.

i think the detaching with love thing is workin for me. i guess now i'm gonna have to teach my husband how to do it!!!! who'd a thunk he'd be nicer than me about this???

yes, dear, he did spend $300 to get his truck fixed, but how much money did he spend on pot??? and didn't he spend 2 months not doing a damn thing except laying on my couch and stinking up the house???

today's rant over. for now.

*heh*

****

i've decided against the shoes. a lady at work has a pair of black ones, and she said they are so supportive and hard they make her feet hurt if she stands too long in them.

i like some things hard, but shoes ain't one of them things!!!

i'm gonna check the land's end site and see what new shoes they have in since i know they're comfy for me. and they're $25.00 instead of $120.00.

i bought a beautiful batique wall hanging. it's black and red and green and kind of golden with little elephants on it. we have an odd shaped space that we haven't been able to find anything to fit, and i think this will be perfect.

i also bought the ring today. it's gorgeous. it's a huge rectangular brown and amber stone set in sterling - i can't remember what it's called - but i love it already. it feels good on my hand, heavy and substantial.

besides, if i've got ass to kick, it'll do some damage.

****

i've been spending my off work days away from home, at starbucks, the library, and hanging out at my new fave store, the head shop. now i know why i've never liked the mall. the stuff at the head shop is unique, cheap and beautiful. not the s.o.s. you find at the mall stores.

altho we do have to go back tomorrow. katherine got her ears pierced last friday and was loosening a back and one fell out and we couldn't poke it back thru. she was devastated. she was trying to take good care of them, so i'm gonna give her a mulligan on this faux pas.

she doesn't know it, but i bought her some frog earrings and some happy face ones at the head shop today too. i can't wait to show her!!!

****

massage at 4. i'll let ya know how hannah and i get along.

hugs and love to all my special peeps. xoxo