let me just clarify. i love my husband dearly. he's a good good man with many wonderful qualities. i'm not sure he was ever taught how to express himself in some ways. i know he loves me, i never doubt that for a moment.

it just makes me a bit sad that he seems so withdrawn sometimes. the kids and i have a whole lot of love and respect for him and i don't know if he knows how to accept it. he's not good at taking praise or compliments. i dreamed that we'd have one of those relationships where we talk about everything and are affectionate toward each other, and instead it seems as if we live as roommates. we used to relate to each other a whole lot more than we do now. maybe it's just the hum drum of life and marriage getting in the way.

i guess i'll never give up the hope and the want and need, altho sometimes i feel like quitting, but i love him too much to do that.

the behaviors that i don't like (sloppy) aren't enough for me to leave him. when we married we swore we'd never even bring up the "d" word, and we don't. i've never considered that for a moment.

the good thing is we both have our "space". he likes to stay at home most of the time, and he doesn't mind if i go out with the kids or with friends. i just wish we could find something to do together.

anyhoo, i didn't want you to get the impression that i don't like or love him. that's far from the truth, and i've been a little bothered the last couple days that i slammed him here.

guilt complex??? who, me??????

and yes, i know I need to work on some things about me too.

thanks for listening. xoxo