this is for Baba, LA, and a sweet, sweet (but seemingly ever-so-slightly confused) northern girl... I raise my glass of iced tea in yer general direction[s] and toast:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YA'ALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You birthday ladies are, by a highly intricate genetic condition involving dna [caused yer mister willy to be replaced by an 'inny, in layman's terms, which automatically causes higher IQ], from the smarter gender. and as you age, you cure like beef jerkey [spotty brown, coarse and lumpy, vein-y and wrinkled is not what Im driving at here] becoming more and more [jerkeyish? 2 for 1 (plus tax) weekends only? wrapped in thick cellophane perhaps?] perfect.

sure sometimes that black stuff b'tween yer toes gives off a nasty aroma after walking in tenners at the mall all day, and maybe on a heavy day the tampoon fills and overflows and ya look like ya just got off a freshly painted saddle on the merry-go-round, and theres always the chance a booger might fall out yer nose into the tithe plate sunday morn, but aside from small "whoopsies" you girls are still the best.

happy birthday.