RevBaby Reviews
…an occasional series for the diapered set

Today’s topic: Nursing Options in the Big Suburban Mall

It happens every time. A morning jaunt around the shopping center works up an appetite. Fortunately, the anchor department stores provide lounges for those in-between snacks, but quality varies widely at these eateries. I sampled Elevensies at three locations, reviewed below.

Lord and Taylor
Location ***
Atmosphere *
Service **

Lord and Taylor is conveniently located near the entrance to the mall, and its name certainly suggests upscale dining. Unfortunately, it’s all hype at this shabby, crowded place. The fluorescent lighting screams Public Restroom, even though the dining area is kept separate from those baser body functions. But the constant stream of patrons walking by while I ate was entirely too distracting. The chair was uncomfortable—a rickety armless relic, reminiscent of those utilitarian stackable chairs from some cut-rate Holiday Inn ballroom. And the service left much to be desired—let’s just say the milk did not flow freely. Parking was ample.


Hecht’s
Location **
Atmosphere 1/2
Service *

About midway through the walk through the mall is Hechts, which seems to position itself as a chic bistro for the beautiful people. I was led to my seat past wild and colorful fashions that were a true feast for the senses. The place pumped high-energy pop tunes through ubiquitous speakers. However, the volume was turned way up where I ate and the music (nay, the noise) bounced painfully off the bare white walls. I’m no fuddy-duddy, being only two months old, but I could barely hear myself think. And typical of these tragically hip places, the portions were so small as to be non-existent.

Also, the yellow cone in the corner marked “Caution: Wet Floor” did not inspire confidence.


Macy’s
Location ***
Atmosphere ***
Service ****

Located right off the main center of the mall, next to my favorite post-Elevensies nap spot, Macy’s proves that simple luxury never goes out of style. This is the Four Seasons of nursing lounges. The atmosphere is peaceful and quiet, with tasteful, dim lighting that is downright romantic. We walked in to find a cushiony couch that would have been more than adequate, but no! We were led past the couch to a room of our very own, with a gorgeously-upholstered armchair that I settled into, eager for a dining experience to remember. And I was not disappointed—the service was impeccable. I was able to enjoy my meal in peace and quiet. Macy’s is truly a respite from the everyday hustle and bustle of babyhood.


Don’t miss my next installment, when I review Front Seat of Car and Secluded Couches Near Sears.