This started as a comment to the comments on the previous post but it just got too long. Proving that if blogging is good for anything, it's good for driving a discussion firmly into the ground.

Point the First
Apropos of Songbird's and Keith's comments, it seems that real life lies on that great continuum between "perfect" and perfunctory. The dear and wonderful 17-year-old in our life will be receiving a gift card for her birthday this weekend because we love her and we wish to commemorate her birthday in some way, and because we have decided not to sacrifice the good (giving her a gift) for the perfect (getting her Just the Right Thing).

Point the Second
Mothers of twins in the NICU are free to give in whatever way they desire--or not give actual gifts at all (gasp!)--and syndicated columnists who disapprove can choke on a candy cane.

Point the Third
Regarding remembering what the season is about, I can't imagine asking specifically for a gift card, to be honest, any more than I would say, "Just send me some cash." If someone asked what I was longing for and I really, truly, couldn't come up with some general categories of stuff, I would say, "Well, your love and friendship are treasured gifts and always a joy to receive." Which sounds sanctimonious as all get-out but it's the God's honest truth. (Can you tell that "gifts" is not exactly first on my list of love languages?)

Point the Fourth
Again I question the one-size-fits-all approach. For someone who loves to receive words of affirmation, wouldn't a short note of appreciation mean more, and take less time, than driving to the mall, circling for a parking space, finding the item, standing in line, driving home, etc.? For someone who values quality time, wouldn't lunch and coffee be a nice gesture? And so on.

We all know those people who are hard to buy for, either because "she's the woman who has everything," or we don't know which DVDs he already has, or we don't know her size. We could respond by giving that person a gift card, or we could respond with some other, simple, non-gift gesture which conveys care and love--but to do the latter, when the former is so ubiquitous now, would be seen as somehow less than. And I'm still curious to discern a reason that doesn't boil down to "money means you care."

Point the Fifth
This is something I'm personally dealing with, because back when we *did* have more time, R and I participated in the Hundred-Dollar Holiday for several years in a row. (Read about it here in an article and here in a chat transcript by Bill McKibben, a man whom I've never met but who is near and dear to my heart for a variety of reasons that may be evident to some of you.) It was a simplicity thing. We did a lot of homemade gifts, gifts of service and so on.

We're not particularly crafty people. At. All. So the process was always a challenge, but a really fun and gratifying one. One year we put together a cookbook. Another year we made candles. Another year we baked a bunch of stuff. We had fun, recipients seemed to appreciate our gifts as much as any other, and we didn't rack up hundreds of dollars of debt celebrating the birth of the Prince of Peace.

The simplicity and modesty (and what a stodgy virtue *that* is!) of that tradition still stays with me. But now, *time* is the scarce commodity. And those projects took a lot more time than a marathon night of online shopping would. And we have kids now, so I'm seeking to find a balance between that earlier practice, in which we basically lived "off the grid," with the desire for our kids not to feel completely left out of the cultural Christmas experience. Let's face it, the year I walked downstairs on Christmas morning to find a pink bike with strawberries on the seat and streamers on the handlebars is still a pretty awesome memory.

And tonight, after dropping off the last bit of family at the Metro, I asked little she-who-is if she knew why we celebrated Christmas. I told her the Christmas story and when I was done she said sleepily, "Tonight I'm going to go to sleep and dream that Santa comes and brings me lots and lots of presents." And I think for kids that young, the magic of gift receiving (and giving) is the blunt instrument through which they start to understand the gift of Christ to the world--the story behind Christmas. I get that. But I also know that I went *way* overboard with the gifts for her last year, and it wasn't a good feeling.

Point the Sixth
There is no point the fifth.