Behaviorist Revelation: Change is work.
I used to rail against cognitive therapy, called it crap. Thought it was pap and bullshit. But, after application and considerable contemplation, I have come to believe it is effective and useful.

In my teaching practice, I am utterly behaviorist. Kid has a behavior issue? Look for antecedents or triggers, describe the behavior, find a replacement target behavior and provide adequate motivation. The child will remake herself. That I write behavior plans for a number of children makes it even funnier that I didn't particpate in cognitive reframing myself; everyone could have their behavior shaped except for me, I guess!

The real issue is that changing bad habits takes a shitload of hard work. The real issue is that I often don't like doing a shitload of hard work. The real issue is that facing my demons, accepting that I am the only one who will do this for me, is very, very painful. I'm not whining, just realizing.

I'm only a few days into this thing I'm doing and I've thwarted three or four episodes of anxiety. I'm not climbing onto the next flight to Frankfurt, but that's okay. I'm realistic about taking time to do it right. I think the best thing I've heard recently is "don't should all over yourself". Think about it. It is set-free thinking.

Self-Care Revelation: Life is fun!
I ordered a movie and a CD today online. Also purchased online were tickets to a 4-day music festival in Darrington, and a rolling shopping/laundry cart. I have needed this ever since I moved into the apartment! Lugging laundry up and down 3 floors ain't a party. I made plans for several other trips and events. Because the main reason I moved was to have some disposable income. Let's see if I can actually spend it without feeling guilty. So far, so good.

Waterfall Revelation: There are near-perfect days.
I went to the waterfall yesterday. It has an offical name, a map name, that I don't care to use. It is MY waterfall, a 6-tiered, 975-foot drop down Jumbo Mountain. I had to climb up a rocky, semi-vegetated hillside and cross the stream twice to get to the second pool. The sound of the falls echoed all around me. The sky was a flawless, Rabbit-Proof Fence blue. The trees were a thousand shades of green. I was utterly alone and I appreciated it so much.

Household Revelation: 'Productive' and 'procrastinate' go hand in hand.
My calendar said today was the day to work on contract revisions for my union. I didn't. I was up at 7:00, tidied here and there, had a leisurely breakfast during which I remembered my vitamin. I had Earl Grey with double bergamot, sugar, and milk. I looked out at Mt. Rainier, stark and majestic. Wow, it's always a great day when the mountain's out.

I sewed the straps on all my bras. I hate that they slip, so I sew them in place. Once they're adjusted, it's not as if anyone else will need to adjust them, so I make the fit permanent. I tried to sew a tank top to make the straps shorter, and that didn't turn out looking fabulous, but I can fix it. The triumphs were the pink top and the plaid shorts. THe pink top required sewing to tack down the placket at the neckline, as well as removal of the elastic at the cuffs and then a cuff hem on each sleeve. The shorts were WAY LONG as is the current Old Navy dictate, so I took off 6 inches from the length. I also removed the rear pocket flaps, sewed the pockets shut and finally cut out the back pockets. What person needs all that extra fabric on her butt?

I guess I should say his butt, because I had to buy men's shorts in order to get a pair that didn't require me to wax my butt crack. Damn, but I'm sick of seeing butt crack and tit cleavage. I'm no prude (as is known by almost everyone who has ever spent more than 5 minutes with me), but you all with the ass decolletage need to know that few of us truly appreciate this commodity you are trying to share with us.

Anyhow, I spent the day cleaning, organizing, filing (yes, Lord!), sewing, sweeping, and playing with the cats. Not what I had planned, but really productive and fulfilling.

JournalScape Revelation: HTML works!
I like that I can use html to make things bolded and italicized.

Peace, yo.