After reading the comments from my son and his lovely Heather, I felt I needed to say a bit more. The first 36 years of my life were pretty bad, full of struggle and disappointment. The only joy I found was in my children. I lived for my kids, my whole life revolved around them. The day I left my oldest at his college dorm was a turning point for me. I realized my kids were growing up and someday I would be alone. I would have no life. That’s when I began to seriously pursue a career. I had always worked, but I never made much money. I spent all of my life trying to give my kids a stable home; turns out I didn’t do such a bad job. I defined myself as mom, and I was pretty good at it. I’m not saying I didn’t make mistakes and my kids are perfect, but I did instill in them some pretty special things. I know they felt loved and wanted, and to me that is the most important gifts anyone can give another.
John is a good, kind person and he tries to understand me, although there is so much buried deep inside, I’m sure no one will ever know some of the things I have been through. I’m not sure I want to even remember. But there has been good in my life to, I have accomplished a lot, considering what I had to work with.
The point of my last entry wasn’t so much to enlist sympathy as just a way for me to let some of the people who care about me have a peek at how I feel. I don’t feel depressed, just sad, today is Aunt Bobby’s Birthday. I haven’t quiet gotten the celebrating the memory thing.