the methods and means of procrastination

all I need is everything.
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Context: home
Sounds/Songs: some godzilla theme music
Book: Women
Film: Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla
What I need right now is...everything.


I know I already cavetched about this in my last journal entry, but god is it going to be hard to leave uss at the end of next week. So far this week I've had two more coworkers asked if I would be staying, do I have a job lined up, would I want to stay, etc. I know its all me and my dislike of endings, but it doesn't make it any easier. We had one last "barn raising" project (its really the only way to descibe some of these foamcore projects) which was nice and somewhat heart renting at the same time.

It does look like I'm going to stay in touch with the mentor I talked about earlier. Maybe go work for him at his own studios some time next year. It was great that he offered, but I'm so out of touch with 2003 right now I couldn't even give a staight answer. I would be splitting my time between, dlstudios, zetaweb, sams, with a few contract works like tesm and uecit. Blah. So much change.

I'm actually kind of interested to see how Jan shapes up when I start working at zetaweb more. At the moment they are really only getting me at 1/3 strength. Exciting what we have done so far though.

Did I ever actually take a vacation? I don't remember. It feels like I've been working for many years now.

So much change.

things that I'm dreading:
Student loans are coming due.
The year is ending.
Christmas is upon us (everybody take cover)
My fish isn't eating.
I'm leaving my job.
I have to get on a plane.
I can't ride my bike.
I don't have a bike.

things I'm anticipating:
I might sell my stove.
I get to keep working with d.
Soon, I will be able to wear jeans to work.
I might get a night off.
I might not need a night off.
We get to play bernstein.

editorial note:
Do you understand how bad the year ending is to me? It is like this huge, anti-climatic emotional event every year -- which never ends. It is always coming. Wrap around our mortality, the ashes and the dreggs.

This is why I avoid new years parties.

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