I am a nice Minnesotan. I am what you call "Minnesota Nice". Sometimes this gets me into trouble. Scary people everywhere LOVE to strike up conversations with me. I'm too nice to tell them to go away. If I can avoid eye contact, I'm usually ok. Once I've made eye contact I will smile and then there's no turning back. It's like a nervous tick. I also have "Social Tourrets" (self-diagnosed), which I'm realizing might be a side affect of MN Nice. I can't control myself when I see someone I know. Whether or not I like the person, I will call their name and say hello. This also gets me into trouble.

I like being nice, don't get me wrong. But I often feel uncomfortable being nice to strangers. When passing people on sidewalks, if I smile and they don't, will I look creepy? If they smile and I don't, will I look mean? I put way too much thought into this, believe me.

Yesterday was a beautiful day! It was sunny, breezy, and 70 degrees. I sat on a park bench in the Mall while I waited for DC after work. He said he'd be over around 6, so I figured waiting outside for him was a perfect idea! People walked by me every couple minutes. I wasn't wearing my sun glasses so I couldn't pretend I didn't see them. It simply isn't polite. So I sat. And I smiled at almost everyone who walked by. Everyone who looked at me, that is. There was one person I pretended not to see. She let her dog do its “business” right in front of me. Ew.

I like sitting on the mall because you can see all the way to Hennepin, and all the way to the lagoon in between Lake Calhoun and Lake of the Isles. On nice days the people watching is fabulous. DC comes from the north so I was mostly looking in that direction. I saw a man walking down the sidewalk from Hennepin. He was dressed too warmly for the weather, so I assumed he was either crazy or homeless or both. I knew when he was still 2 blocks away that he would talk to me. As he got closer, I looked behind me a few times, trying to make it obvious I was looking for someone while sitting. He approached me... and... I smiled. I couldn't help it! It wasn't a big smile. No teeth. He stopped and asked "Are you waiting for someone?" Yes, I replied, straining my neck to look in all possible directions. I hoped that by looking around this person he'd get the hint that I wasn't interested in talking to him.

Then he sat down. I was sitting in the middle of the bench so this made me extremely uncomfortable. I'm always very aware of my personal space. Especially with strangers. He sat down and told me that he was waiting for a friend at the library but he wasn't there. I noticed he had braces. I kept looking all around wishing DC would hurry up, all the while trying to stay polite, yet cold. But he kept talking. He thought it was going to rain today. That's why he had on his hat and jacket. He was carrying 2 plastic bags of groceries from Cub.

After he talked for a while, I decided he was younger than I originally thought. With the braces, I'm guessing he was 16 or 17 at the oldest. He mentioned a job interview coming up, so he was at least old enough to work. He also said he dropped out of school. He told me he had "behavioral problems" that his counselors couldn't figure out. This made me think he was talking about high school, not college. He told me how he got in trouble throwing chairs around in his classroom. I wanted SO badly to get up and move to the open bench maybe 50 feet away from me. Why didn't he sit there?? I couldn’t be rude, though. And I felt bad for this boy. So I sat. And I listened.

He showed me his Cub foods gift card that only had $17 left on it. He had just gone grocery shopping, but sometimes didn't have enough money for food. He told me sometimes he doesn't like himself, but then he remembers it's his situation he doesn't like. Not himself. He’s fine with who he is as a person. He likes staying at home so he doesn't have to deal with life.

Our conversation seemed to last for an hour. More than an hour. A few times I thought he was going to ask me for money, but he didn't. I also thought he was going to tell me he was suicidal, but he didn't, TG. He just kept telling me about all the things that are going wrong. He walked out on his job. Now he's trying to get them to take him back, but he's embarrassed for walking out and doesn't think they want him back. He's out of money. He got kicked out of one school, dropped out of the other. The whole time I maybe said 4 words to him. Oh? Yeah? Really? Huh.

Finally I saw DC walking down the sidewalk. I waited until he was very close before interrupting my new friend. I stood up and wished him good luck with his interview. He thanked me for talking to him and said he felt much better. I jogged to DC and gave him a big hug. I was elated he was finally there. Partly because I was glad to have a reason to stand up and run away from this guy. Partly because I think he was sincere when he said he felt better talking to me. That made me feel really great. My uncontrollable MN Nice helped someone feel better! We are nice for a reason! Yeah!

I also uncontrollably hold doors open for people. Even if they're too far away. I'll stand and wait for them with the door open.

Go MN Nice!