As I said before, I've been lurking on a couple adoption forums since our first trip. I swore I wouldn't get sucked in. I would only post comments if people needed practical information. Well, I've stuck close to that... I've posted about our experience and what we know. I've corrected some misinformation. And I've done my best to not waste time and webspace by posting about wanting people's phone to ring and stuff like that.

But I discover interesting things. And Doug and I talk about a couple of the people like we know them (he reads them too!). The one I read today that I am somewhat astonished by is fundraising for an adoption. As in, people will hold events, with proceeds going toward their adoption costs. And some people ask their churches for money. I just am... astonished.

Perhaps it's where people are coming from; long years of infertility, lots of money on biology. But it seems like such a personal decision, why would you then ask your friends and neighbors to help fund your child? I mean, lots of people want children and can't afford the adoption fee. I'm not saying they shouldn't be able to adopt. I just... I don't know. It seems like there are lots of organizations (especially Jewish ones, we've noticed) that lend money at low interest rates for adoptions. But to hold your own makeup party? Put in a donation plea in your church bulletin? I have read all these, and others. I just find it odd.

I guess I wonder - what does the average church-goer have invested in your child, that they should donate money to your adoption fund? Although then Doug argues, it takes a village to raise a child. Maybe a close-knit family, friends, whatever could see this as showing support for a couple. I don't know... I could never do it. If I could, I probably would have asked YOU already. :)