Reading today: Hopefully.
Music today: nothing yet.
TV today: Barney. Ack.
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Two things that I guess intertwine today. Yesterday we were asked by a relative (who will all remain nameless in this journal) if it was possible for Roman to go back and find his birthparents. I replied that we had a way to find his birthmother if we wanted, and that we had been assured it was acceptable for him to do this if he so desired. Doug and I personally have talked about this and have reached a family understanding. Well, another relative asked why in the world Roman would want to find them - they have nothing to do with him. Before we could answer, yet a third relative said "well, medical information might be important someday."

Then this relative who couldn't believe he would search went off and said "but he shouldn't have contact with HER. She didn't WANT him. She DUMPED him." Oh my gosh. Then this relative continued to talk about how Doug and I are his parents, not HER, so why in the world... blah blah blah. Wow. What emotions coursed through me at that point, being an adoptee and now an adoptive mother. First I stopped the relative and said, "you do remember I am adopted, don't you?" "Well, yes" they said. And then tried to get me to answer their questions in support of their position. Doug and another relative both started arguing with this relative.... I finally quick changed the subject because my little cousins were also in the room listening to this!

It made me stop and think, and kind of reevaluate my relationship with this relative. I know they didn't mean it as a slight against adopted kids. But what does this person think of me? I was dumped? Poor me? Hmm.

Secondly, there's a show on 20/20 that has gotten the people on a forum I read all up in arms, writing "scathing" letters to ABC. The show follows a young girl as she decides which couple will adopt her child, and the emotions that are involved after she actually gives birth. I thought it was interesting that they would show this from a birthmother's point of view, something that is rarely done because adoptive parents have such a vocal following. But these women are talking about how it "cheapens" adoption, "hurts" the kids to see it, blah blah blah. And it occurred to me - many adoptive parents (and people in general) don't bother to consider the other side of adoption, that of the birthparent. Blinded only to THEM getting a child, not of what the birthparent(s) may have gone through.

Amazing, the emotions of stupid people. And how sad for the children, because it's these kind of adoptive parents who will cause the children to feel "unwanted" in the first place if their birthparent(s) aren't treated with respect and consideration. Sad.