Reading today: "Angels & Demons" by Dan Brown
Music today: None yet.
TV today: "Blue's Clues: Shapes & Colors" video
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9:30am this morning marked the end of my 30th year of life. So I am 30 today, in other words. Think about it... isn't that strange? Besides the math, that is, where your 1st birthday actually marks the end of your first year. Odd.

Anyway, I am 30. A threshold of sorts. 30 to me marks the end of "young." Along with that comes the arrival of "serious responsibility" and "true adult." Personally I feel I stopped aging at the age of 27. I don't know why... I guess because life had just gotten to where I wanted it in 2001. Married almost a year, buying a house, secured a good job. The end. What else does life hold? A larger family, as I discovered 4 weeks ago!

In my mind, people who are 30 (or "in their 30s") are full-fledged adults. They probably know a lot about being an adult; mortgages, paying bills, raising children. I always looked up to women I met in their 30s because they seemed very polished; well dressed; well mannered; confident; having their lives organized. Efficient. Energetic. And I am now 30, embarking into my 30s, and I feel like none of this. And my friends are 30 or thereabouts, and they don't look like the people I admired when I was younger. It is quite unnerving to have my belief about an age period be shaken by my own self and friends.

Is it possible to "feel" an age? Many people are bothered by their birthdays and the marking of passing time. Me, it doesn't bother me too much. 30 as a milestone has made me stop and think only because it seemed so far off, for so long. I feel badly about it only because I'd like to be the polished, well dressed, well mannered, confident, organized, efficient, and energetic person I had always thought a woman in her 30s was like (and let's remind the gentle reader that I am nowhere close to the above). I still see myself as frumpy 23 or 24, with a mindset of 27. But my body is 30. And knowing where I came from emotionally and mentally at 19... 22... 25... I like 30. I don't feel like 30 is old. It's where I try to become the person I want to be.

The various modes of celebration of my birthday will probably include: spending birthday money on clothes and a pedicure; getting ice cream at Baskin Robbins tonight; and having dinner and drinks provided for me by dear friends this weekend. So really, my 30th birthday hasn't changed me at all!

Am waiting to open cards until this evening when I don't have to pull them out of the hands of a 10-1/2 month old.

So Happy Birthday to ME!