Student "edition" found at {thoughts dot com slash typed no space out no space loud slash blog}.

Maybe I shouldn't have started this blog now, not with everything that's been going on.

Yesterday I was a bit overwhelmed I guess. Today I was a bit more prepared for what was going on.

It has been said that it is not really as bad as we fear, just as it is not always as good as we most expect.

The problem with having all this time to think about something potentially dreadful that is about to happen is that the mind goes through all the possibilities. And just when you thought you had exhausted all the possibilities, something completely out of the blue reminds you of the problem and worse case scenarios; worse that is, than the worst you had thought of earlier.

Yes, it happens to me just like with most other people, probably more so. But I do not let it get me down.

Sure, I write about it here, but I do not revel in the details, which is what makes the problems of others comparative.

If I do not specify the problem, it could be as simple as a hangnail or it could be as bad as an extortion charge.

But only I would know that, and from the tone here, no one would be able to tell if my reaction is appropriate.

This blog has really come a long way from what I used to post seven years ago, when you would not find anything this emotional.

As someone I follow in twitter said which I re-tweeted: we did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves.

So this is more clearly me writing this compared to seven years ago, when there was an intentional direction guiding the posts.

The nice thing is that talking to others does help. I know that there are those out there who still believe in me despite all these happenings.

I am also surprised that these people do seem to know me pretty well in that they know what will and will not make me happy.

It just seems so complex that they are also friends with others who tend to see things as more black and white, friend or enemy.

I wonder if they get confused with that the-friend-of-my-enemy dynamic; Not wonder, hope, until their brain bursts.

I have not fully taken advantage of those who want me to spill all the details, because it is still quite draining to repeat everything again and again.

I will definitely have to talk to them about it when it is over. I might also give them a heads-up an hour or so before D-time.

And I did already resolve that no matter what the outcome is, I will talk to the dean about my future plans.

Okay, not talk, but at the very least write a letter clearly detailing my options. If she has questions she can get back to me.

Session 2963 wonders how things will be different this time tomorrow, probably more than this time yesterday. Class dismissed.