Up@1500
Fasting BS=256 @1528
Breakfast@ NONE
Lunch@aprox 1900 - Thai One On- 2 sm bowls Tom Kha, 1/2 plate phad thai
Snack@010 - chips & dip
Dinner@ NONE
Meeting@ NONE
Meds@0330 w/16 oz. 2% milk.
Bed@

Read Chapter 3 of Alanon book.

Belle was meant to be getting released tonight. Taz gave me more info. Stealing from Van, Taz, others; pawning everything, room .. well.. like a junkie's room. It's bad. REAL bad! We did the maths and it's been more like almost 2 years she's been doing it. Taz has been too.. just not as much, but still 3-4 times a week. Since Roy left July 2011.

I don't know what I'm going to do other than just take care of me as best I can.

This shit sucks!

It's becoming more and more clear that I need outside help for being accountable. I need someone to enforce these goals. They need to be RULES, more than goals if I am to succeed. I haven't figured out what to do about that yet. It's complicated. I have a slave now and have made a commitment to him. I can't just abandon him because I decided I'm not strong enough to be free after all. Besides, I DO want to be free. I just want to have a mentor, or similar, to whom I am accountable. Much like a male relative would have been in many societies.