They say home is where the heart is. I have no home. I finally made it back to work today, and did fairly well until the last hour, when I thought about going to the empty, cold, lonely pit of my apartment. I used to love the solitude... I lived as a bachelor without having a nice word said to me all week (typical male-male bonding type... here you go, dumbass, things of that nature). I don't know why I can't grasp the adjustment I need to make without it being so awful.

I know no one reads my journal, or if they do, they don't comment on them. So this is really just my only way of catharsis without any advice... I only want someone to listen to me and say "hang in there..." except that conjures the stupid "hang in there" kitten poster, and that makes me laugh to think about the futility of that poster in tough times...

And it's been very interesting to note who has called or written to check on me (ok, no one has written), and the mutual "friends" who haven't even bothered... I know it's awkward, but after all I have done for other people... What's the point anyway? I'm "homeless," hopeless and don't see any end to it any time soon. And tonight I will be completely and utterly alone.

But I can't give up. I'm holding on with all I have. Just like that stupid cat...