So last night Brad Penny threw a shutout 2-hitter over 8 innings. I have to admit, a fine debut performance for the pitcher we just acquired in the Paul LoDuca murder last week. Even though they struck out literally like 15 times (Milton Bradley only broke one bat over his knee in a blind rage, thanks be to Allah), the Dodgers went on to win 3-2, with Gagne of all people giving up 2 in the ninth. He was visibly still petered out from pitching extra innings on Sunday.

So, to make a long story short, we won. Dodgers won.

But this changes nothing, McCourt! You hear me? Nothing!!

Just as we won with the presence of Penny, we lost one over the weekend withOUT the presence of reliable setup man G-mo Mota, an innocent bystander gunned down alongside LoDuca. (Turns out Paul DePodesta is trigger happy and has bad aim.)

Who would have thought the final battle for the soul of Georgetown would take place so far from the school's hallowed borders - out west in California.

I wonder if Frank McCourt realizes he's battling me for the soul of Georgetown.

(No, I don't wonder if he cares, thank you.)

And some of you may think I'm being a bit harsh. I've heard the words "bitter" and "negative" mutinously whispered behind my back, as I leave the room.

I say those people have not been following the Dodgers over the last 10 years. Believe me, if the Dodgers were to win it all (cough) I'll be the first nutcase to run out there and congratulate and celebrate and pat this true team of non-stars on the back. But in the meantime, my skin is thick - leathery, in fact. It has to be, to protect my fragile delicate heart, which has been so hurt before...

And speaking of non-stars, how 'bout that USA Basketball team? Great job, guys! Unfortunately Team Pinocchio proved to be a worthy foe.

This Olympic start, on the heels of our last international performance (at least I think it was), goes to show pro-basketball is heading in the wrong direction. While the rest of the world is learning the game of basketball, the fundamentals - how to run offenses and read defenses, the most talented players in the U.S. are learning to negotiate for top dollar in salary and shoe endorsements. Think about it: A team consisting of Duncan, Iverson, Carmelo and Lebron, with all their mansions, humvees, and ice to keep a freezer cold could not top a bunch of no-names from Italy.

I mean jesus, USA's so lacking in fundamentals that the Hickory Huskers could beat these guys. Shooter'll have the boys run the Picket Fence on 'em. Lebron'll be reduced to playing mind games with Ollie, who then granny-shoots his free throws to win the game.

Italy. Christ. I guess this is good - it'll serve as the wake-up call we apparently desperately need in the states. Maybe we can change our hoops philosophy of individual performance over team execution (basketball was invented as a team sport, after all) before it's irreversibly too late.

(Or, worst case scenario we could just send Kobe onto the court to sexually harrass the other team - take them off their game - boom, instant gold.)