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Falling Apart
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Yesterday was pretty much just going through the motions. Luckily, I was able to stay in the car on all of the errands with the baby and Rob ran in. That was a good thing to because I kept going into hysterical crying fits. At least all we needed to do was the bank and get a few things at the grocery store.

Today was not a good day. I pretty much had to go through everything alone. I spent the vast majority of the day bawling my eyes out and in near hysterics and when I wasn't crying I just felt... numb.

I don't want to go into details about why I was out on my own today or why things got so bad and fell apart today on this public forum. I don't feel comfortable posting things like that for the world to see. So, I'm going to try and be somewhat generic when describing the events of the day.

Let me start this off by saying that it is extremely difficult to drive around doing errands while hysterically crying. I don't recommend it and I'm lucky I didn't end up in an accident or in a ditch somewhere. Do you have any idea of the looks you get when bawling your eyes out in public?

Today I went to the tailor's and picked up the suit I had taken in for alterations. I'm lucky I had cash on me because she doesn't take credit cards - cash only. I dropped off another suit to have the jacket sleeves shortened and the pants legs shortened and I dropped off the black robe thing that I'll be wearing for Halloween to have the hem on that taken up as well. Those should be ready on the 25th and I'll be bringing in more suits then.

Once I picked up my suit I headed to the Brookfield mall for a quick trip to Barnes & Noble. I needed to pick up a blank journal. There are so many things going through my head right now, a lot of which I don't feel comfortable putting on here, and I'd like to just get those thoughts out privately onto paper. While there I got another bath book for Gabriel and also managed to find him a super cool Pluffie (his favorite kind of stuffed animal) bat. That bat is frickin' adorable. I also found a stuffed Tasha and Austin! So now he has the entire stuffed (I think they're Beanie Babies) Backyardigans collection.

From there I headed to Babies R Us to pick up some diapers. Looks like they had a run on size 4 diapers because they only had one pack of the Cruisers and one pack of the Baby Dry in stock. Eep!

Before heading back home I stopped off at the ATM and grabbed some dinner to bring back home with me for the family.

Tonight was absolutely horrible and I feel like my entire life is falling apart. I spent the vast majority of this evening crying on the bed all by myself. I had some lovely breaks to get the laundry done. I'm so glad my Mom is heading out here tomorrow.


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