I realized yesterday that I deal very poorly with death. I'm still reeling over my grandmother Eleanor's death and I know I won't ever fully get over it. Yesterday, it hit me that even the death of a friend or someone I know fairly well hits me hard. Not as hard as the death of a family member, but still hard. I guess I just don't deal well with the permanent loss of another person's life.

Yesterday we had just gotten home from a trip to the post office and grabbing dinner to go when Rob went to get the mail. I waited in the garage with Gabriel. When Rob was walking back from the mailbox, I saw a look on his face and I immediatly knew something was wrong. He was carrying a folded up letter with the mail... the kind of letter we get when our building has announcements. I asked him if something was wrong. He said yes. I asked him if it was bad. He said yes. I asked him how bad. He said very. So, I looked the letter over.

As soon as I started reading it, tears came to my eyes and I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.

We have two resident managers here at out apartment complex. G & M are an older married couple who manage the place for the rental company. G takes care of the flowers and gardens. M does all the repairs and day-to-day upkeep. They're both super friendly people and even invite residents into their home so that everyone can meet each other. They even sent me a congrats card when they found out that I had passed the Wisconsin state bar.

The letter let us know that on Tuesday, May 20, M passed away. Straight from the letter: "He was working outdoors on our property, something he loved doing, and took a fall. He suffered severe head trauma and multiple fractures and broken bones. He was transported to Waukesha Hospital, where he never regained consciousness. He passed away comfortably surrounded by G, their children, and grandchildren."

This came as an absolute shock. Rob had seen him outside on the lawn mower on Tuesday morning. I don't even know what to say. M was a kind and good man and it shouldn't have happened like this.

Rob left a message for G yesterday and said if the funeral or memorial service was open to more than family that we would like to be there for her. I already spoke to my mom and she can come out and watch Gabriel if we do go to the funeral.